Ok, cure me please: SPIDERS!

First topic message reminder :

Don't know of it's the curse of this place and that bloody thread About spiders, but over the last few days I've had massive spiders in my house.
They freak me out!!!!

Why are they coming in?
Why are they so freaking big?
What am I so scared of?
HOW CAN I STOP BEING SO FREAKED OUT????

There's no point telling me I'm bigger than them blah blah, there's no point (sassy) telling me they catch flies blah blah or even that they spin little cute webs and make orphans blankets.
I don't care.

I hate them and they freak me out.

Any one got any good cures for me? Please??   

What the fuck?

Tippy-toe ever so quietly 'cross the table.

Did you see that thing? It was the size of an actual dinner plate?
Fuck about!

We had one about that size that would come out on the screen of our Arcadia door (to the patio) of our home in the Tucson Mountains. On warm summer evenings we would sit out there, sipping beer, and watch the lights of Tucson come up.

We thought she was just sociable, and wanted to join us. But then someone pointed out that when we came out, we turned on the patio lights, and that attracted flies, which attracted her.

They are harmless, except if you antagonize them and they bite you. You can get a bad infection from a tarantula bite.

Not a spider, but a coconut crab, but might give you the willies

The crab doesn't bother me. No idea why.
It's just spiders then.

Actually, a cracked Alaskan King Crab would be tasty for dinner tonight.  Either freshly steamed, with a garlic butter dip, or cooked and chilled, with a thousand island and lemon dressing.



But, I digress.

Digress away. It gets rid of all the spider pics at least.

A sunbather, engrossed in her music, fails to notice a tarantula is sat on her shoulder

shit is about to get real!!!!!

Ben Reilly wrote:

Cass wrote:

Eds-yes it’s baffling

CGF- I’ll take the itching any day.

How bout them Packers?

I fail to see your point.

smelly-bandit wrote:

A sunbather, engrossed in her music, fails to notice a tarantula is sat on her shoulder

shit is about to get real!!!!!

Actually, he's not very big. My daughter used to get wolf spiders about that size, that would leap onto her her head and shoulders. They had fallen into the pool, and when she went for a swim they would jump on her to keep from drowning.

Can't really blame 'em. You'd just flick them off, then help them onto the deck, where they would skitter away.

Lord Foul wrote:
\For sale round here ....on facebook

Ten legs ?!?

I counted 10, what's those two little bits at the front, feelers?

Be very careful when you use google. I keep getting this pic up  

nicko wrote:I counted 10,   what's those two little bits at the front, feelers?

basically yes they are part of the mouth called 'Pedipalps'

I am not sure what species of spider that is but it is one with elongated Pedipalps(I think it may be some sort of tarantula), they are smaller on most spiders

^^^^^^^^

He wouldn't eat much...

Around here, we will have a huntsman or three finding their way inside every year..
Even with window screens and screen doors.      

Eek

Holy motherfucking Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Artist at work 

The linear perfection of that web begs the question: who says nature doesn't digitize?

Original Quill wrote:The linear perfection of that web begs the question: who says nature doesn't digitize?

Or in the words of a simple old Yorkshireman: Just where the fuck does all that stuff come from?

Fred Moletrousers wrote:

Original Quill wrote:The linear perfection of that web begs the question: who says nature doesn't digitize?

Or in the words of a simple old Yorkshireman: Just where the fuck does all that stuff come from?

I think the web material comes out of the spider's ass. But who taught him geometric patterns?

There's an advert currently on tv here re Royal Marines, this marine is concealed in the jungle as the ememy or whatever passes by and a large hairy spider crawls off a nearby branch onto his shoulder, then up onto his face, over his eye. The marine of course doesn't move or bat an eyelid. Yuk.
I was going to enlist before I saw that

I bought myself a 2nd hand DSLR camera for my birthday. I'm trying to find a new hobby and think I might like Photography, gives a reason to visit places that you'd otherwise just drive past or bushwalk/4WD to the look outs etc...

since I am just enjoying my day I though I'd give it a go.
First subject a smallish huntsmen in the back room.
I cropped the image so they'd be the right size for the forum, they are huge even on the medium setting





Considering it a few years old the quality is great, I thought I'd need to get a macro lens or something to get spider close ups

What the fuck? Are you trying to upset me??

So...this is me...

                                         

End of winter here...

Those spiders will be on the march next week;  doing what spiders do;   breeding up their numbers ready to invade Britain during the coming Brexit confusions and recessions..

Be afraid..   Be very afraid...