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Post by gelico on Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:15 am



So my youngest son went on holiday recently just for a couple of weeks then when he came back, that same day he didn't even bother to unpack his case and just said ''oh by the way mum i'm moving out'' and was gone.

apparently his GFs family have gone back to Portugal but have left their older kids here and he has gone to join them to help with the rent

then my daughter announces that she's off to Africa for good. She's been there a few times and has been offered a bundle of opportunities out there but has turned them down due to being in a long term relationship. But then she decided to just go.

She's always had the travel bug from as far back as i can remember. she's wants to go work in animal sancturys and work on conservation and saving the planet and stuff. She's booked to fly out next month on a one way ticket

i'm overjoyed that she is following her lifelong dream but shit, i'm already feeling lost and she didn't even go yet

thank heavens we live in an age of face time etc

i will still have my eldest son at home, but for how long remains to be seen.

it might soon be just me and the cat

Shocked

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Post by Syl on Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:29 am

I really feel for you Gels.....the empty nest syndrome really affects lots of mums when the kids leave.
It's great that they are moving on, living their lives, following their dreams etc, but it still hurts. Crying or Very sad

Im sure your son will visit you a lot, and like you say with facetime you can keep in touch easilly no matter how far away your daughter is.....and amazingly, you do get used to the new found freedom when the kids leave home.

We always joke that the second saddest day of our lives was when our only son left home, but the very saddest was when he decided to come back again.....and he did this three times before he made a clean break. Laughing

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Post by gelico on Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:49 am



thanks syl,

in actual fact my son has only moved about 10 min walk away. he works long shifts in a london pub so i kind of only saw him in passing anyway. he said he's coming over on friday on his day off so,,,,,

but my beanie,,,,oh my.

i've told her BF he can still stay here if he likes. he doesn't want to got back to his parents and can't really afford a place of his own and he's a bit torn up over losing her so he will still be here too

damn good job or i would have to take in a lodger

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Post by Thorin on Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:27 am

gelico wrote:

So my youngest son went on holiday recently just for a couple of weeks then when he came back, that same day he didn't even bother to unpack his case and just said ''oh by the way mum i'm moving out'' and was gone.

apparently his GFs family have gone back to Portugal but have left their older kids here and he has gone to join them to help with the rent

then my daughter announces that she's off to Africa for good.  She's been there a few times and has been offered a bundle of opportunities out there but has turned them down due to being in a long term relationship.  But then she decided to just go.

She's always had the travel bug from as far back as i can remember.  she's wants to go work in animal sancturys and work on conservation and saving the planet and stuff.  She's booked to fly out next month on a one way ticket

i'm overjoyed that she is following her lifelong dream but shit, i'm already feeling lost and she didn't even go yet

thank heavens we live in an age of face time etc

i will still have my eldest son at home, but for how long remains to be seen.

it might soon be just me and the cat

Shocked


Its always difficult gelico, but think back to when you yourself left the nest to start a new life?

Its odd but I been rewatching the "Wonder years" of late and the episode I saw yesterday was the One with Karens wedding where they tell the family they are moving to Alska.

Very happy for your daughter to follow her dream and passions. This is clearly what she wants and needs to do

They both need to unfold their wings and soar high above.

Maybe this is a good opportunity for then you to do things for yourself. Find new hobbies and meet new people.

There is face chat, so you can always speak to your daughter at any time, as she can do with you. Your boy is still close as well. Plus you can always visit each other.

Maybe this will be good for you also, as it will be for them. For you to have some time to yourself

Anyway, you have us reprobates on here. Who are always here for you

Sending you hugs

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Post by Original Quill on Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:00 pm

What's the problem? His bedroom now becomes your 'She-Shed'.

Or, if you have a husband, it could become his man-cave.

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Post by Syl on Tue Aug 13, 2019 6:18 pm

gelico wrote:

thanks syl,

in actual fact my son has only moved about 10 min walk away.  he works long shifts in a london pub so i kind of only saw him in passing anyway.  he said he's coming over on friday on his day off so,,,,,

but my beanie,,,,oh my.

i've told her BF he can still stay here if he likes.  he doesn't want to got back to his parents and can't really afford a place of his own and he's a bit torn up over losing her so he will still be here too

damn good job or i would have to take in a lodger

Shocked

10 minutes walk away, you will probably see more of him now than when he lived at home. Laughing

You and your daughters boyfriend can be company for each other, and I do agree with Didge that this is an ideal time to spread your own wings, join clubs, discover hobbies, make new friends, you seem so outgoing I doubt that'll be much trouble for you to do.

Life is a series of chapters....you are starting on a new one. x




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Post by Maddog on Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:54 am

Having my daughters scattered around the state was never part of my plan. I stay very busy, but I still miss the hell out of them. I'm not a phone person, so the gaps in our talks and visits are too long.

Plus, they all have these stinky poop head boys in their lives that have sort of taken my place. They were supposed to remain single until their 50's. Wink

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Post by gelico on Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:02 pm



thanks for the comments syl and didge, they make a lot of sense, i know you're both right

quill, i'm known as a bit of an old bat so i might have me a bat cave, you've given me something to think about

lol, maddog, reminds me of when beanie was young. my dad had said to my hubby, ''my god, she's gorgeous, she's gonna drive the boys crazy when she's older'' at which point hubby retorted ''no she bleedin' won't, she's gonna be grounded till she's 35''

lol!

how quickly it goes




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Post by Original Quill on Wed Aug 14, 2019 6:32 pm

gelico wrote:quill, i'm known as a bit of an old bat so i might have me a bat cave, you've given me something to think about

Bat cave...what a great idea. Laughing

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Post by gelico on Wed Sep 25, 2019 11:46 pm




it's been 9 days since she left

next week she goes out into the bush for 6 weeks to work hands on with the animals. she's staying with some missionaries out there i think


she sounds like she's having fun


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Post by Thorin on Thu Sep 26, 2019 12:47 am

gelico wrote:


it's been 9 days since she left

next week she goes out into the bush for 6 weeks to work hands on with the animals.  she's staying with some missionaries out there i think


she sounds like she's having fun


I am sure she is having the best time going

How are you feeling?

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Post by gelico on Thu Sep 26, 2019 12:54 am

phildidge wrote:
gelico wrote:


it's been 9 days since she left

next week she goes out into the bush for 6 weeks to work hands on with the animals.  she's staying with some missionaries out there i think


she sounds like she's having fun


I am sure she is having the best time going

How are you feeling?


thanks for asking, didge,

not nearly as bad as i thought i would tbh

then again i'm used to her going off on holidays and coming back in a couple of weeks and it's not been that long yet.

plus she calls me on whatsapp every day so i'm surprisingly cool about it all right now

don't know how long that will last though

lol!

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Post by Thorin on Thu Sep 26, 2019 12:59 am

gelico wrote:
phildidge wrote:

I am sure she is having the best time going

How are you feeling?


 thanks for asking, didge,

not nearly as bad as i thought i would tbh

then again i'm used to her going off on holidays and coming back in a couple of weeks and it's not been that long yet.

plus she calls me on whatsapp every day so i'm surprisingly cool about it all right now

don't know how long that will last though

lol!


Glad you are good with all of this and I guess its not really hit home. Which I again guess is more down to be in contact everyday.

So maybe with the advent of technology today it makes it a tad easier for family to be apart

Time for you to find somethings you would like to do Gelico

Is she coming home for Christmas?

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Post by gelico on Thu Sep 26, 2019 1:08 am

phildidge wrote:
gelico wrote:


 thanks for asking, didge,

not nearly as bad as i thought i would tbh

then again i'm used to her going off on holidays and coming back in a couple of weeks and it's not been that long yet.

plus she calls me on whatsapp every day so i'm surprisingly cool about it all right now

don't know how long that will last though

lol!


Glad you are good with all of this and I guess its not really hit home. Which I again guess is more down to be in contact everyday.

So maybe with the advent of technology today it makes it a tad easier for family to be apart

Time for you to find somethings you would like to do Gelico

Is she coming home for Christmas?


she has mentioned visiting at christmas which would be great. i don't want to lay too much store by that though, in case she doesn't. don't want to be disappointed.

anyhoos, just realised the time, i should sleep now

catch up soon didge

night x

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Post by Thorin on Thu Sep 26, 2019 1:12 am

gelico wrote:
phildidge wrote:


Glad you are good with all of this and I guess its not really hit home. Which I again guess is more down to be in contact everyday.

So maybe with the advent of technology today it makes it a tad easier for family to be apart

Time for you to find somethings you would like to do Gelico

Is she coming home for Christmas?


she has mentioned visiting at christmas which would be great.  i don't want to lay too much store by that though, in case she doesn't.  don't want to be disappointed.

anyhoos, just realised the time, i should sleep now

catch up soon didge

night x

Well that would be a fab Christmas present

Night Gelico

x

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Post by eddie on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:08 pm

I have only just seen this thread! I feel for you.

My son goes off to Cambridge on the 5th October, the same day Ben goes back to Texas after being here for six months.

My daughter and I are going to be lost.

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Post by Thorin on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:12 pm

eddie wrote:I have only just seen this thread! I feel for you.  

My son goes off to Cambridge on the 5th October, the same day Ben goes back to Texas after being here for six months.

My daughter and I are going to be lost.

I thought this was all sorted?

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Post by eddie on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:28 pm

phildidge wrote:
eddie wrote:I have only just seen this thread! I feel for you.  

My son goes off to Cambridge on the 5th October, the same day Ben goes back to Texas after being here for six months.

My daughter and I are going to be lost.

I thought this was all sorted?

No, not at all! I have to meet a financial requirement by my wages on a six month average and Ben has to return to Texas to apply for his visa. It could take 12 weeks or longer. He isn’t a legal resident here, he is only here on a six month visa.

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Post by Thorin on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:32 pm

eddie wrote:
phildidge wrote:

I thought this was all sorted?

No, not at all! I have to meet a financial requirement by my wages on a six month average and Ben has to return to Texas to apply for his visa. It could take 12 weeks or longer. He isn’t a legal resident here, he is only here on a six month visa.

So if you meet the requirement, does this then mean he can become a legal resident?

Lets hope this is sorted before Christmas

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Post by eddie on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:34 pm

phildidge wrote:
eddie wrote:
phildidge wrote:

I thought this was all sorted?

No, not at all! I have to meet a financial requirement by my wages on a six month average and Ben has to return to Texas to apply for his visa. It could take 12 weeks or longer. He isn’t a legal resident here, he is only here on a six month visa.

So if you meet the requirement, does this then mean he can become a legal resident?

Lets hope this is sorted before Christmas

Yes if I meet the requirement but I don’t think I will as I’ve had time off for various things but it will add about another six to eight weeks, so we could be looking at him coming over about early Feb? Then yes, he will be a legal resident and be able to work etc

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Post by Ben Reilly on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:41 pm

As soon as the government is satisfied that edds is making enough money to support not just herself and our daughter, but me as well, I can be approved for a spouse visa and get a job.

Then I have 2.5 years of legal status before I have to re-apply, but the good thing is that my earnings will also count toward the financial requirement. That buys me another 2.5 years.

After 5 years, I can apply for permanent leave to remain, which basically gives me most of the rights of a British citizen. I can then also pursue citizenship, which of course I plan to do, since I'll be living here and getting taxed here and you know how we Americans are about taxation with no representation Wink

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Post by Thorin on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:42 pm

eddie wrote:
phildidge wrote:

So if you meet the requirement, does this then mean he can become a legal resident?

Lets hope this is sorted before Christmas

Yes if I meet the requirement but I don’t think I will as I’ve had time off for various things but it will add about another six to eight weeks, so we could be looking at him coming over about early Feb? Then yes, he will be a legal resident and be able to work etc

So they do not take into consideration unforseen circumstances, where you needed time off.

That is a tad unfair.

Well I know its frustrating and its also very upsetting that you will be apart again for sometime, but there is an end goal for your to be together. That is what you should concentrate on. You have both endured everything thrown out you hindering your path to happiness, but you have become stronger whether together or apart.

I know that may seem small comfort and its not me in this situation. Sorry that you will both have to part for a time and if I could fix your situation I would, as many would here, but sadly there is little any of us can do.



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Post by Thorin on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:47 pm

Ben Reilly wrote:As soon as the government is satisfied that edds is making enough money to support not just herself and our daughter, but me as well, I can be approved for a spouse visa and get a job.

Then I have 2.5 years of legal status before I have to re-apply, but the good thing is that my earnings will also count toward the financial requirement. That buys me another 2.5 years.

After 5 years, I can apply for permanent leave to remain, which basically gives me most of the rights of a British citizen. I can then also pursue citizenship, which of course I plan to do, since I'll be living here and getting taxed here and you know how we Americans are about taxation with no representation Wink

Well I am sure you would get a job straight away mate

Hope this all pans out for you both. The sooner the better

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Post by eddie on Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:59 pm

phildidge wrote:
eddie wrote:
phildidge wrote:

So if you meet the requirement, does this then mean he can become a legal resident?

Lets hope this is sorted before Christmas

Yes if I meet the requirement but I don’t think I will as I’ve had time off for various things but it will add about another six to eight weeks, so we could be looking at him coming over about early Feb? Then yes, he will be a legal resident and be able to work etc

So they do not take into consideration unforseen circumstances, where you needed time off.

That is a tad unfair.

Well I know its frustrating and its also very upsetting that you will be apart again for sometime, but there is an end goal for your to be together. That is what you should concentrate on. You have both endured everything thrown out you hindering your path to happiness, but you have become stronger whether together or apart.

I know that may seem small comfort and its not me in this situation. Sorry that you will both have to part for a time and if I could fix your situation I would, as many would here, but sadly there is little any of us can do.



Thanks didge but unfortunately they just take the average over six months.

You know, of I was born in any other European country and lived here as a British citizen, Ben could come tomorrow and sign a form for £55 and live here - no joke. But because I’m British I have to meet a financial requirement.

Go figure.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Thu Sep 26, 2019 10:17 pm

phildidge wrote:
Ben Reilly wrote:As soon as the government is satisfied that edds is making enough money to support not just herself and our daughter, but me as well, I can be approved for a spouse visa and get a job.

Then I have 2.5 years of legal status before I have to re-apply, but the good thing is that my earnings will also count toward the financial requirement. That buys me another 2.5 years.

After 5 years, I can apply for permanent leave to remain, which basically gives me most of the rights of a British citizen. I can then also pursue citizenship, which of course I plan to do, since I'll be living here and getting taxed here and you know how we Americans are about taxation with no representation Wink

Well I am sure you would get a job straight away mate

Hope this all pans out for you both. The sooner the better

What's worked out really well is that both Texas and England are experiencing labor shortages in the construction industry.

So my plan is to use a contact I have in Texas to get into that, and then parlay the experience when I move here for good.

Apparently the average London-area construction worker salary is above £40,000, and some supervisors are making MP salaries. I'd love to be able to make some good money and provide my family with a nice life, not to mention being able to pay for plane tickets to or from Texas once or twice a year.

I can't express how good it feels that my English and Texan family members love one another's company so much and get so excited to see one another.

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Post by Maddog on Fri Sep 27, 2019 12:03 am

Ben Reilly wrote:As soon as the government is satisfied that edds is making enough money to support not just herself and our daughter, but me as well, I can be approved for a spouse visa and get a job.

Then I have 2.5 years of legal status before I have to re-apply, but the good thing is that my earnings will also count toward the financial requirement. That buys me another 2.5 years.

After 5 years, I can apply for permanent leave to remain, which basically gives me most of the rights of a British citizen. I can then also pursue citizenship, which of course I plan to do, since I'll be living here and getting taxed here and you know how we Americans are about taxation with no representation Wink

Doesn't the girl's father's income count towards taking care of the child?

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