Would you stop seeing friends of the opposite sex alone when dating someone?

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Would you stop seeing friends of the opposite sex alone when dating someone? Empty Would you stop seeing friends of the opposite sex alone when dating someone?

Post by phildidge on Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:53 pm

The reason I asked. Is I have had a debate with this woman on social media who says. That when ever she is in a relationship. She then never allows herself to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, for a lunch, meal dinner etc. I understand why she is doing this, but I think this is being done for all the wrong reasons and is a very negative stance to hold. Before i answer why. I would like to understand how others feel on this. The situation also can include the scenario when someone is homosexual of course and how they would react in seeing friends of the same sex alone for meals etc.

So wehat do people think

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Post by eddie on Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:58 pm

Well I had male friends (partners of female best friends) before I met Ben and I will still hang out with one of them alone. Ben is fine with it. There’s a group of us, three couples, and we all just hang out with whomever is around at any given time. Ben chats to the women of the group on and off all night sometimes. It’s all cool.

I guess it depends upon how secure people are.

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Post by phildidge on Fri Jul 12, 2019 2:04 pm

eddie wrote:Well I had male friends (partners of female best friends) before I met Ben and I will still hang out with one of them alone. Ben is fine with it. There’s a group of us, three couples, and we all just hang out with whomever is around at any given time. Ben chats to the women of the group on and off all night sometimes. It’s all cool.

I guess it depends upon how secure people are.  

I think we are on the same level here, but will hold back my views a tad more until more people post here.

This is what she said~:

"Out of respect for my partner, I just avoid situations that could potentially make them uncomfortable or give them cause to worry. It's MY choice. I don't tell my partner I'm doing it, as I'm not trying to guilt them, nor would I ever ask them to do the same."



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Post by Ben Reilly on Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:21 pm

This question came up when VP Pence said he wouldn't have dinner with a woman without his wife present -- not to make this a political debate or anything.

I think that attitude means you don't have any trust in your relationship, for one. But it gets worse.

If I were to ask eddie to never hang out with one of our male friends in particular, I'd feel like I was depriving her of something that makes her happy, and that's not something you do to someone you love.

It's also controlling and stifling, in my opinion. I can't imagine such an arrangement making anybody happy -- because if you don't trust your partner alone with a member of the opposite sex, you're unhappy to begin with, and no amount of rule-following is going to help that.

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Post by phildidge on Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:30 pm

Ben Reilly wrote:This question came up when VP Pence said he wouldn't have dinner with a woman without his wife present -- not to make this a political debate or anything.

I think that attitude means you don't have any trust in your relationship, for one. But it gets worse.

If I were to ask eddie to never hang out with one of our male friends in particular, I'd feel like I was depriving her of something that makes her happy, and that's not something you do to someone you love.

It's also controlling and stifling, in my opinion. I can't imagine such an arrangement making anybody happy -- because if you don't trust your partner alone with a member of the opposite sex, you're unhappy to begin with, and no amount of rule-following is going to help that.

Boom, nail on the head

The person making this stance is the one lacking trust and has trust issues

I agree its controlling and stiffling, well said ben

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