24 signs of emotional maturity

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Post by eddie on Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:40 am

1. You stop blaming other people for how they’re treating you and instead understand that they probably have their own fears and anxieties driving what they do. You understand that many people around you insist that the behavior of others is based on nastiness, idiocy and negativity. You realize that the behavior of others is not so simple and a great deal more complex.

2. You start to see that most things in life aren’t black and white, but rather many shades of grey. This is especially the case in politics. But it also applies more broadly. You begin to look at issues from multiple viewpoints and you’re less steadfast in the perspective you thought was obvious at first.

3. You can admit that – quite remarkably – you don’t have all the answers. You can get things wrong from time to time, and you realize that if you’ve been wrong before, you may be wrong again. The phrase “I don’t know” is something you use more often. Rather than running away from this phrase, it paradoxically brings you a sense of calm.

4. You stop thinking that you’re so unique and special all the time. You understand that while we’re all indeed unique and special in our own way, life becomes a little richer when we look for what we have in common as opposed to what separates us. You revel in building relationships with others based on a sense of comradery and sisterhood. You feel a deep sense of connection with the people around you.

5. You feel confident not by thinking that you’re better than people all around you, but from seeing that ultimately, we’re all ignorant fools. You see that the most confident people around you wear masks to stop people from seeing the ignorant fool within them. You feel compassion for these people while also allowing your confidence to grow, not needing to be anyone but yourself.

6. You stop suffering from imposter syndrome, because you don’t accept that anyone else gets to tell you what’s legitimate. You know that we’re all just trying to act a role in some way, so you may as well embrace whatever role you’re currently in.

7. You stop trying to be perfect at everything you do. You realize that you learn the most from your mistakes, and you’re better off living a life at the edges of your comfort zone which results in an imperfect life. You begin to take pleasure in doing your best rather than needing the result to be so perfect all the time.

8. You forgive your parents because you know that just as you’re not perfect, neither are they. You no longer hold yourself to such high standards, and you no longer hold your parents to these same standards. You know they have done the very best with what they were given. You love them for who they are, imperfections and all.

9. You stop blaming others for the situation you are in and instead start to see the challenges you face as learning opportunities. The situations you find yourself in often weren’t created by you. This doesn’t phase you anymore. You’re more interested in improving the situation you’re in – and helping others who are in the same situation – than playing the blame game.

10. You realise that actions speak louder than words. You know that it’s easy to say the right thing in many situations, but it’s much more difficult to do what you say you’ll do. You understand that the best way to build a relationship with someone is not to tell them how much they mean to you, but to show them through your behaviors.

11. You stop blaming yourself for what’s gone wrong in your life. You understand that you had a different idea 10 years ago about what your life would be like when you’re at this age. You start to accept where you’re at and see the beauty not just in all of your accomplishments but also in the many things that have gone wrong.

12. You become comfortable in your own skin. You don’t feel the need to look any different than how you look. You don’t want to be more intelligent than how smart you already are. You don’t want to have a different personality than the one you’ve got. You celebrate what makes you you, while appreciating people for who they are as well.

13. You become a little more pessimistic about how things will work out. You understand that this isn’t being negative. It’s seeing the potential downside so you can prepare for it. You become a little less idealistic, and in the process become a more tolerable and balanced person to be around.

14. You no longer berate yourself for feeling fear and anxiety. You understand these emotions are key signals alerting you about something that needs to change in your life. You allow yourself to fully feel these emotions so they can drive you to action. You let these emotions drive you forward in a calm and balanced manner.

15. You learn to fall in love a little less hastily. You have felt the enormous rush of dopamine that comes from being in love more than a few times, and you start to value more highly the consistency that comes from a relationship that is built over the course of time. You prefer to be able to rely on your partner always being there than needing that constant rush that comes from new love interests.

16. You know that being in love is about the actions you take more than the feelings you have. You are there for your closest friends and family in their moments of need. You stand by your partner when she’s going through a tough time showing her vulnerabilities. You understand that feelings are ephemeral, but the way you treat people will stick with them and you for a lifetime.

17. You stop living your life based on the dreams you have for your future and start to appreciate what’s already happening in the present. You no longer visualize a different life for yourself than the one you’ve already got now. You see that the life you’re living now is already the life of your dreams. You dreamed this up long ago and today is already the magical embodiment of your infinite creative potential.

18. You stop living your life based on the expectations of others and start to develop a vision for yourself that comes from within. You understand that others have expectations of you. Often it’s because they want you to live a good life. But you know that the best thing you can do for them – and for you – is to live a life true to your own values, even if that means doing things people around you don’t expect you to do.

19. You know that the greatest moments of learning come from “unlearning”. You cherish the experience of letting go of an idea you once held as true and correct. You appreciate that admitting you were wrong creates space in your mind for something new to emerge.

20. You identify less with political identities of left versus right and instead focus on problems we can solve together. Political parties make less sense to you, but the political process of making the world better is still important. Your distaste of politics doesn’t turn you away from getting involved. It simply hones your focus on carrying out actions that have an impact.

21. You don’t need people to think you’re intelligent, and instead value being able to express things clearly in ways that can be easily understood by others. You refrain from using complicated words and superfluous expressions.

22. You are aware of the capacity of your own mind for self-deception. This self-awareness keeps you grounded and humble. It encourages you to seek feedback from others on your plans and dreams.

23. Your spirituality makes you feel a connection with others but doesn’t make you think your beliefs are more important than theirs. You don’t feel the need to put your spiritual beliefs into words, instead simply enjoying the experience of living in a world of “the great unknown”. You appreciate that others have beliefs that are more rigid and defined than yours, and you’re happy that they’ve found a path to enlightenment, even when it’s different than the path you’re currently on.

24. You find fulfillment less from achieving your own goals and more from helping others achieve theirs. Gandhi’s famous quote — “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others” — has new meaning.


https://ideapod.com/24-signs-of-emotional-maturity/


How many can you honestly say you have achieved?
Which ones do you feel you need to work on?

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:50 am

I think that when I'm at my best, I have most of these qualities, but that insecurities come along and lead me to fall back into old, bad habits and behave without emotional maturity.

One thing I think I've gotten better at recently is being able to realize more quickly when I'm in the wrong, being able to own it and admit it, and to apologize.

I'm definitely trying to get better at not feeling like an imposter (6). I combat this by reminding myself that there are many, many ways to do most things, and that what you do in the present is much more important than what you've done in the past.

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Post by 'Wolfie on Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:59 am

Basketball

How many have I achieved ?    Blah, who knows...

Which ones do I need to work on ?    Dunno,  probably most of them..

Which ones will I 'work' on ?     Who cares, really  ?

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Post by phildidge on Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:00 am

Ben Reilly wrote:I think that when I'm at my best, I have most of these qualities, but that insecurities come along and lead me to fall back into old, bad habits and behave without emotional maturity.

One thing I think I've gotten better at recently is being able to realize more quickly when I'm in the wrong, being able to own it and admit it, and to apologize.

I'm definitely trying to get better at not feeling like an imposter (6). I combat this by reminding myself that there are many, many ways to do most things, and that what you do in the present is much more important than what you've done in the past.

That is really a beautiful thing to state and massively showing honesty, but let me say this loud and clear for you Ben. You have nothing to fear, being as you are now with Eddie. You need to recognise that Eddie just does not only complete you, but that you also complete her. You hav a connection, that is an un breakable bond, that only insecurities would ever break. So stop apologising for things you have not done wrong. Its submissive. Even though you mean well. You are a good person of which i certainly recoginise and even more make for a great step father.

You need to stop being so highly critical of yourself. Eddioe would not be with you, if not for the fact you ar a great guy. I am sure her daughter and son both adore you. Tak credit in the fact you are a good persson, that compltes Eddie in who she is and how she completes you. That is something very rare to find and have. So be thankful for that, but never feel guilt over this. As I say embrace everyday you have together and live everyday as if its your last.

Stay gold


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Post by eddie on Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:01 am

WhoseYourWolfie wrote:Basketball

How many have I achieved ?     Blah, who knows...

Which ones do I need to work on ?     Dunno,  probably most of them..

Which ones will I 'work' on ?     Who cares, really  ?

Ahhhh. So no emotional maturity in your house then. Razz

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Post by 'Wolfie on Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:06 am

eddie wrote:
WhoseYourWolfie wrote:Basketball

How many have I achieved ?     Blah, who knows...

Which ones do I need to work on ?     Dunno,  probably most of them..

Which ones will I 'work' on ?     Who cares, really  ?

Ahhhh. So no emotional maturity in your house then. Razz

Cool

If I feel like a dose of reality, and reckon I need a bit of 'grounding' I can always go and stick my head in a beehive...

Or do a Prince Charles and talk to the plants -- can always get a bit of intelligent conversation there..

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sun Jul 07, 2019 2:29 am

phildidge wrote:
Ben Reilly wrote:I think that when I'm at my best, I have most of these qualities, but that insecurities come along and lead me to fall back into old, bad habits and behave without emotional maturity.

One thing I think I've gotten better at recently is being able to realize more quickly when I'm in the wrong, being able to own it and admit it, and to apologize.

I'm definitely trying to get better at not feeling like an imposter (6). I combat this by reminding myself that there are many, many ways to do most things, and that what you do in the present is much more important than what you've done in the past.

That is really a beautiful thing to state and massively showing honesty, but let me say this loud and clear for you Ben. You have nothing to fear, being as you are now with Eddie. You need to recognise that Eddie just does not only complete you, but that you also complete her. You hav a connection, that is an un breakable bond, that only insecurities would ever break. So stop apologising for things you have not done wrong. Its submissive. Even though you mean well. You are a good person of which i certainly recoginise and even more make for a great step father.

You need to stop being so highly critical of yourself. Eddioe would not be with you, if not for the fact you ar a great guy. I am sure her daughter and son both adore you. Tak credit in the fact you are a good persson, that compltes Eddie in who she is and how she completes you. That is something very rare to find and have. So be thankful for that, but never feel guilt over this. As I say embrace everyday you have together and live everyday as if its your last.

Stay gold

Thanks, Didge -- what a wonderful thing to say. I try really hard for the people I love, and eddie -- along with you, now -- show me that sometimes that can lead to problems.

You're a really deep guy -- never lose that. You also have a huge heart. You stay gold as well.

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:23 am

Can't people just stop thinking about all that shite and get on with things? Do some gardening instead of all that navel gazing.

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:37 am

I can't believe I agreed with Wolfman. Shocked

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Post by phildidge on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:41 am

Raggamuffin wrote:Can't people just stop thinking about all that shite and get on with things? Do some gardening instead of all that navel gazing.


Well how is promoting positivity shite to you? Unlesss you are ruled by neagtyive emotions?

How are you getting on with things being annoyed simple by some positivity>

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:44 am

phildidge wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:Can't people just stop thinking about all that shite and get on with things? Do some gardening instead of all that navel gazing.


Well how is promoting positivity shite to you? Unlesss you are ruled by neagtyive emotions?

How are you getting on with things being annoyed simple by some positivity>

I'm not ruled by negative emotions. Thinking about all that stuff is negative. It's the kind of thing which makes people anxious and worried. Just get on with things and stop ruminating - you'll feel much better.

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Post by phildidge on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:48 am

Raggamuffin wrote:
phildidge wrote:


Well how is promoting positivity shite to you? Unlesss you are ruled by neagtyive emotions?

How are you getting on with things being annoyed simple by some positivity>

I'm not ruled by negative emotions. Thinking about all that stuff is negative. It's the kind of thing which makes people anxious and worried. Just get on with things and stop ruminating - you'll feel much better.


Being positive ios being negative to you>.......?
Really?
On what relams of psudo nonsense did you get that nonsense from?

How is being and thinking positively negative unless you are ruled by negative emotions?

If people are anxious about this, then its the negativity that is controlling them, is it not?

To be honest you are the least person to seek advice from, based on how you are controlled by your negativity.

If thi9s is not effecting you, why give a fuck, in how it may heal others?

It seems to me, you want people to be brought down to your unhappy level

Fuck that. My views is if you actually took on board what was said, you may actually end up being happy

Go figure

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:52 am

No, it's thinking about all this shite all the time which makes people anxious. Why should anyone have to "work" on any of this?

I'm not unhappy - that's just you talking shite again. You're unhappy because you analyse yourself and others all the time.

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Post by phildidge on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:54 am

Ragsm you are a Christian right?

Are you not inspired by the words of Jesus?

Based on your first post, do you think people should ignore that shite and get on with things?

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Post by phildidge on Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:58 am

Raggamuffin wrote:No, it's thinking about all this shite all the time which makes people anxious. Why should anyone have to "work" on any of this?

I'm not unhappy - that's just you talking shite again. You're unhappy because you analyse yourself and others all the time.


Source the evidence and studies for your claim

Frankly you are talking out of your arse, as helping people become happy does not make them anxious. People who are already anxious, through a number of reasons, but the happy effect is contageous and helps them

https://www.happify.com/public/science-of-happiness/

https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/

Noiw its up to you, if you want to be an unhappy person, that is your choice, but stop denying people finding the path to hapiness themselves

ok?

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:02 am

This isn't about happiness, it's about "emotional maturity".

There's far too much navel gazing on this forum IMO. Why do some of you spend your time trying to find happiness or thinking about how to be happy? Just don't think about all that shite and get on with things.

I've been gardening and later on I'm going to my favourite cafe. I'm not going to sit here thinking about whether I'm "emotionally mature" or not. That's for teenagers. Laughing

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Post by phildidge on Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:08 am

Raggamuffin wrote:This isn't about happiness, it's about "emotional maturity".

There's far too much navel gazing on this forum IMO. Why do some of you spend your time trying to find happiness or thinking about how to be happy? Just don't think about all that shite and get on with things.

I've been gardening and later on I'm going to my favourite cafe. I'm not going to sit here thinking about whether I'm "emotionally mature" or not. That's for teenagers. Laughing

So noevidence for your bullshit bollocks claim

Its completely abouyt how to find happiness, which if you never feel this yourself, its no wonder. How you fail to grasp its importance

I am already happy and very much happy for others including you rags. It has a contageon effect in helping others be happy

The reality is you are simple Bagpus, unable to be happy for others and wish for them to come down to your unhappy level

Fuck thaty, if you want to be unhappy and miserable, that is up to you, but why deny others fining happiness?

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:11 am

What a load of old shite. Even Wolfman is talking more sense than you.

lol!

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Post by phildidge on Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:15 am

Raggamuffin wrote:What a load of old shite. Even Wolfman is talking more sense than you.

lol!

I found you a decent heart Rags o replace your old one

24 signs of emotional maturity LumpofCoal



lol!

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Post by eddie on Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:14 pm

These four have been my own personal, unique feelings and beliefs, my whole life, I never saw them written down before in this kind of way....


3. You can admit that – quite remarkably – you don’t have all the answers. You can get things wrong from time to time, and you realize that if you’ve been wrong before, you may be wrong again. The phrase “I don’t know” is something you use more often. Rather than running away from this phrase, it paradoxically brings you a sense of calm.

5. You feel confident not by thinking that you’re better than people all around you, but from seeing that ultimately, we’re all ignorant fools.

20. You identify less with political identities of left versus right and instead focus on problems we can solve together. Political parties make less sense to you, but the political process of making the world better is still important. Your distaste of politics doesn’t turn you away from getting involved. It simply hones your focus on carrying out actions that have an impact.

21. You don’t need people to think you’re intelligent, and instead value being able to express things clearly in ways that can be easily understood by others. You refrain from using complicated words and superfluous expressions.

Wow. That describes me to a tee.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:37 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:Can't people just stop thinking about all that shite and get on with things? Do some gardening instead of all that navel gazing.

I see what you're saying in the sense that if you spend all day focusing on your flaws, you're definitely going to feel like shit. But on the other hand, you can't just focus on your positive attributes if you want to get anywhere.

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:46 pm

Ben Reilly wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:Can't people just stop thinking about all that shite and get on with things? Do some gardening instead of all that navel gazing.

I see what you're saying in the sense that if you spend all day focusing on your flaws, you're definitely going to feel like shit. But on the other hand, you can't just focus on your positive attributes if you want to get anywhere.

Get anywhere where though? Laughing

The older one gets, the more one realises that there's no point in all this over-thinking and analysing oneself. Just don't worry about it. I'm too old to be "working" towards emotional maturity anyway. Laughing

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:49 pm

Also, I don't like these "life rules" others come up with. If someone has an issue with themself, that's one thing, but for others to say what issues you have and how to deal with them - that's just silly.

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Post by Guest on Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:13 pm

Ben Reilly wrote:I think that when I'm at my best, I have most of these qualities, but that insecurities come along and lead me to fall back into old, bad habits and behave without emotional maturity.

One thing I think I've gotten better at recently is being able to realize more quickly when I'm in the wrong, being able to own it and admit it, and to apologize.

I'm definitely trying to get better at not feeling like an imposter (6). I combat this by reminding myself that there are many, many ways to do most things, and that what you do in the present is much more important than what you've done in the past.

what are you smoking???

you have zero of those qualities, admit youre wrong?? when??

not blame others?? you mean the way you dont blame trump for every little thing that goes worng??

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Post by Guest on Sun Jul 07, 2019 1:13 pm

21. You don’t need people to think you’re intelligent, and instead value being able to express things clearly in ways that can be easily understood by others. You refrain from using complicated words and superfluous expressions.

thats quill out the game then

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