Gobbledegook in the private sector

Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by Andy on Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:52 pm

This job description just pinged up in my email inbox for a job I might be interested in.
Can ANYONE decipher it?

"As BIM Leader you will initially be responsible for helping develop a Digitally Enabled Agile Manufacturing (DEAM) platform to support an advanced volumetric modular production facility. This platform will incorporate some sophisticated IT systems including a Product Lifecycle Management (PLM) module, and Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) module, a Manufacturing Execution System (MES) module, a Building Energy Management System (BEMS) module, and some ancillary software solutions. A particular focus of this role will be the development of the PLM module, and then the close integration of the same with the ERP and MES modules. The PLM module itself will include a modelling system and an associated rule-based design assistant; a structured parts library; a BIM objects library; workflow management software and document management software."

_________________
I have never met a caring sharing and compassionate Tory.
Tories and far right wingers. All liars and only it it for themselves.
Andy
Andy
Poet Laureate & Traveling Bard of NewsFix

Posts : 5930
Join date : 2013-12-14
Age : 62
Location : Winning the fight to drain the swamp of far right extremists.

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Re: Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by Ben Reilly on Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:20 am

Jesus Christ! I would marvel at anyone who could make heads or tails of that.

_________________
It's so hard to be without you / used to feel so angry, now I only feel humble.

- Ryan Adams
Ben Reilly
Ben Reilly
Cowboy King. Dread Pirate of the Guadalupe. Enemy of the American people.

Posts : 27243
Join date : 2013-01-19
Age : 44
Location : Tesco's

View user profile http://www.newsfixboard.com

Back to top Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Re: Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by 'Wolfie on Sun Jun 16, 2019 4:13 am

Smile

To me, that sounds like it could be a job description for something like a tealady ???

Or at a stretch, maybe a cleaner or mantenance/ 'janitor'/ "dogsbody" role..

_________________
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Our life is frittered away by details. Simplify, simplify.
The mass of men lead lives of quite desperation.
Henry David Thoreau
'Wolfie
'Wolfie

Posts : 7531
Join date : 2016-02-24
Age : 61
Location : Lake Macquarie, NSW, Australia

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Re: Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jun 16, 2019 9:55 am

It's obvious what it means - maybe I'll apply for that job. Laughing

_________________

"There never was an Aaron, counselor".
Raggamuffin
Raggamuffin

Posts : 33746
Join date : 2014-02-10

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Re: Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by Fred Moletrousers on Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:41 am

Andy wrote:This job description just pinged up in my email inbox for a job I might be interested in.
Can ANYONE decipher it?

"As BIM Leader you will initially be responsible for helping develop a Digitally Enabled Agile Manufacturing (DEAM) platform to support an advanced volumetric modular production facility. This platform will incorporate some sophisticated IT systems including a Product Lifecycle Management (PLM) module, and Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) module, a Manufacturing Execution System (MES) module, a Building Energy Management System (BEMS) module, and some ancillary software solutions. A particular focus of this role will be the development of the PLM module, and then the close integration of the same with the ERP and MES modules. The PLM module itself will include a modelling system and an associated rule-based design assistant; a structured parts library; a BIM objects library; workflow management software and document management software."

It's simple, really, and the initials DEAM are a clear indication of what is required. To wit:

Digitally: Finger operated
Enabled: Functional
Agile: Nimble
Manufacturing: Making something

Hence, Andy, if you would like this job, you will need the ability to pull your operational finger out quickly and make a rapid exit whenever a PLM, ERP, MES or BEMS situation arises, and as the BIM Leader, demonstrate your ability to be an efficient, effective and motivational barking insane mugwump.
Fred Moletrousers
Fred Moletrousers
MABEL, THE GREAT ZOG

Posts : 2690
Join date : 2014-01-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Re: Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by Andy on Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:10 pm

Sounds a perfect job as Conservative partysecretary

_________________
I have never met a caring sharing and compassionate Tory.
Tories and far right wingers. All liars and only it it for themselves.
Andy
Andy
Poet Laureate & Traveling Bard of NewsFix

Posts : 5930
Join date : 2013-12-14
Age : 62
Location : Winning the fight to drain the swamp of far right extremists.

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Re: Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by Vintage on Sun Jun 16, 2019 2:23 pm

It's obviously an attendant at a high tech Japanese toilet facility.

Vintage

Posts : 2088
Join date : 2013-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Gobbledegook in the private sector Empty Re: Gobbledegook in the private sector

Post by Jules on Sun Jun 16, 2019 7:33 pm

It's "Double Dutch" !!

That's what people called incomprehensible blabber in bygone days. What a Face

_________________
Live Love Laugh
Jules
Jules

Posts : 3466
Join date : 2016-07-30
Location : Vantage Point

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum