My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!!

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My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 Empty My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!!

Post by Ben Reilly on Sun Apr 07, 2019 4:40 am

First topic message reminder :

So surprise! After just two weeks in Texas, I'm back in an undisclosed location in the shire of Essex for a period of time that will be several months but which I'm not saying here because of what I'm fixin' to say now:

I got into a certain airport on a certain day that is near in time to today, and immigration grilled me like the proverbial cheese sandwich. Apparently they're a bit suspicious that I have no job and that I've been spending so much time here lately.

And as I said to my cab driver on the way home, I can't say that I blame them, but it's still rough to go through. I had my passport inspected, I had to call edds and ask her to send a photo of our marriage certificate, and I started to feel like I was doing something wrong!

Just to put that in perspective, I'm not taking benefits, not gonna use the NHS, not gonna take anybody's job since it's illegal for me to work here, and I'm just going to occupy about 5-11 and 14 stone worth of space, and spend money coming out of my own savings and some help from my Texas family, and I can't shake the feeling that the government now thinks I'm here for some nefarious purpose.

At one point, I was really scared they were going to turn me away, and I was going to have to figure out how to break that news to edds and then get back to Texas.

Anyway, I have to take a little comfort in the fact that they did eventually allow me through, so I suppose they do have a certain amount of discretion they can exercise.

Really glad to be back. Two weeks (give or take) away felt like far too long. And I've only committed one felony since arriving so those motherfuckers can lay off me! Laughing

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Post by Fred Moletrousers on Sat Jun 08, 2019 1:12 am

HoratioTarr wrote:
Ben Reilly wrote:A few random tings:

* In America, kitchen roll, toilet roll, crisps, chips, a pavement, a hoover, tin foil, a jumper, pants, trousers, and the front room are, respectively: paper towels, toilet paper, chips, fries, a sidewalk, a vacuum, foil, a sweater, shorts, pants, and the living room.

* Americans would pronounce it: Totten Ham, Birmingham, Lie Chester, and Marlund. Brits pronounce it: Totnum, Birmingum, Lester, and Mary Land.

* I non-verbally told a guy off for driving too fast near a school as I was escorting two little girls home the other day (made the universally understood "what the fuck are you doing" gesture).

He slowed down, rolled down his window ... and apologized profusely. I'm pretty sure in America, he'd have given me all sorts of choice abuse.

* Some things about England seem really charmingly old-fashioned. We have a neighbor who still has a milkman delivering milk each morning and picking up the empty bottles.

Pronounce Marylebone.   No cheating.

Shan't.....I'm a Yorkshireman and wouldn't dare try. You come up with "On Ilkla Moor b'aht 'at".....every verse. No cheating.
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Post by Cass on Sat Jun 08, 2019 2:00 am

Ben Reilly wrote:Just figured out this morning that a freephone number is what American people would call a toll-free number.

For hire or to let are just "for rent" in America.

Haha yeah those are good ones. I remember think let? Let you do what????

In return when I came back here, rent to own had become a big thing and it took a while to think ah yes that’s HP (hire purchase). And spackle (polyfilla). I really struggled with that and other DIY stuff.

I still crack everyone up here by saying massage with a hard A as the British do.

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Post by Cass on Sat Jun 08, 2019 2:02 am

Fred Moletrousers wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:

Pronounce Marylebone.   No cheating.

Shan't.....I'm a Yorkshireman and wouldn't dare try. You come up with "On Ilkla Moor b'aht 'at".....every verse. No cheating.


lol!

Or any Rabbie Burns poem. At some Burns Nights here, Mr. C and I have done a double act when reciting The Address, with me translating. Everyone was like ooooohhhhh that’s what it means. It was hilarious.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sat Jun 08, 2019 6:17 am

HoratioTarr wrote:
Ben Reilly wrote:A few random tings:

* In America, kitchen roll, toilet roll, crisps, chips, a pavement, a hoover, tin foil, a jumper, pants, trousers, and the front room are, respectively: paper towels, toilet paper, chips, fries, a sidewalk, a vacuum, foil, a sweater, shorts, pants, and the living room.

* Americans would pronounce it: Totten Ham, Birmingham, Lie Chester, and Marlund. Brits pronounce it: Totnum, Birmingum, Lester, and Mary Land.

* I non-verbally told a guy off for driving too fast near a school as I was escorting two little girls home the other day (made the universally understood "what the fuck are you doing" gesture).

He slowed down, rolled down his window ... and apologized profusely. I'm pretty sure in America, he'd have given me all sorts of choice abuse.

* Some things about England seem really charmingly old-fashioned. We have a neighbor who still has a milkman delivering milk each morning and picking up the empty bottles.

Pronounce Marylebone.   No cheating.

Hahahahahaha! MARE-a-la-bone.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sat Jun 08, 2019 6:20 am

Cass wrote:
Ben Reilly wrote:Just figured out this morning that a freephone number is what American people would call a toll-free number.

For hire or to let are just "for rent" in America.

Haha yeah those are good ones. I remember think let? Let you do what????

In return when I came back here, rent to own had become a big thing and it took a while to think ah yes that’s HP (hire purchase). And spackle (polyfilla). I really struggled with that and other DIY stuff.

I still crack everyone up here by saying massage with a hard A as the British do.

See, back in the day I would have thought Hewlett-Packard for HP, and these days, brown sauce.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Fri Jun 28, 2019 8:01 am

Can't believe I haven't gotten around to this yet, but I wanted to write about my new view on the food you get in England.

I came here thinking I'd never taste a hot jalapeno pepper again, having heard the stereotype that English food is bland (and, oddly enough, that the English boil most of their food).

The truth couldn't be more different. Of course I've tried fish and chips, bangers and mash, etc., but there's so much more, and I really don't think there's anything I liked in Texas that I couldn't get here.

The big difference is that where Texans eat Mexican food a lot, the English have Indian food, but I've already found my favorite curry (chicken tikka massalla, sure I misspelled that) and apparently you only have to have one favorite Indian dish Smile

In our small town's Tesco, I can find the exact same ingredients that go into the tacos, burritos, enchiladas, etc. that I grew up with. And I was quite amused, flattered and delighted to find a "Tex-Mex" section among the ready meals, though I haven't tried any yet.

Another big thing that surprised me, funny enough, is strawberries. I'd never had a sweet strawberry until I came here. We always had to put sugar on them back in Texas, and I never really cared for them. Here, I could eat them all day.

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Post by Syl on Sat Jun 29, 2019 2:58 am

It's great you are enjoying the Brit food Ben, Maybe we used to have a limited taste and choice in the food we ate here, but not so nowadays....there is a really wide selection of everything you could wish for.

Speaking of Strawberries, supermarket Asda have just come top in a taste test for where to buy the best ready packed Strawberries...£2 a punnet, no added sugar required.

Pop half a one in a glass of prosecco to compliment it....that's what I am having after my tea tonight. My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 630750432

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Post by Vintage on Sat Jun 29, 2019 5:56 am

You'll have to come to Wales and try cockles, laverbread, leeks and bara brith .

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Post by Victorismyhero on Sat Jun 29, 2019 1:40 pm

Try a chip shop pickled onion Ben......It will blow your socks off. Proper pickles don't have any sugar or other sweetener in me...unlike those pathetic things you call pickles in the states.......

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Post by Original Quill on Sat Jun 29, 2019 1:49 pm

Victorismyhero wrote:Try a chip shop pickled onion Ben......It will blow your socks off. Proper pickles don't have any sugar or other sweetener in me...unlike those pathetic things you call pickles in the states.......

Lots of things are cheap and pathetic in the US. It's a capitalist country. Capitalism aims at profit, not quality.

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Post by Syl on Sat Jun 29, 2019 8:26 pm

Proper pickled onions are lovely.....unlike those huge jars of pickled eggs, which always remind me of something you would see in a science lab....gross.

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Post by HoratioTarr on Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:10 pm

Ben Reilly wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:

Pronounce Marylebone.   No cheating.

Hahahahahaha! MARE-a-la-bone.

No.  Marlaben My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 859118666
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Post by Maddog on Sat Jun 29, 2019 11:11 pm

Original Quill wrote:
Victorismyhero wrote:Try a chip shop pickled onion Ben......It will blow your socks off. Proper pickles don't have any sugar or other sweetener in me...unlike those pathetic things you call pickles in the states.......

Lots of things are cheap and pathetic in the US.  It's a capitalist country.  Capitalism aims at profit, not quality.

The UK is also a capitalist country, comrade.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sun Jun 30, 2019 1:24 am

Maddog wrote:
Original Quill wrote:
Victorismyhero wrote:Try a chip shop pickled onion Ben......It will blow your socks off. Proper pickles don't have any sugar or other sweetener in me...unlike those pathetic things you call pickles in the states.......

Lots of things are cheap and pathetic in the US.  It's a capitalist country.  Capitalism aims at profit, not quality.

The UK is also a capitalist country, comrade.  

The UK is far more socialist than the US, and far more left as well. Your typical right-winger here sounds like a mainstream Democrat in the states on most issues.

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Post by gelico on Sun Jun 30, 2019 1:51 am

HoratioTarr wrote:
Ben Reilly wrote:

Hahahahahaha! MARE-a-la-bone.

No.  Marlaben   My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 859118666




you're both wrong

it's ,,,, marry-le-bone

Rolling Eyes


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Post by nicko on Sun Jun 30, 2019 2:08 am

Marry-le -bone is correct !
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Post by phildidge on Sun Jun 30, 2019 2:12 am

gelico wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:

No.  Marlaben   My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 859118666




you're both wrong

it's ,,,,  marry-le-bone

Rolling Eyes


lol, when you think about it Gelico, when you spell and sound it out correctly. It looks like a hybred english French word. With le meaning the. All you need is an r on the end of bone and it becomes "marry the boner"

Laughing

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Post by eddie on Sun Jun 30, 2019 5:17 am

gelico wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:
Ben Reilly wrote:

Hahahahahaha! MARE-a-la-bone.

No.  Marlaben   My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 859118666




you're both wrong

it's ,,,,  marry-le-bone

Rolling Eyes


Yes. Quite.

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Post by Vintage on Sun Jun 30, 2019 5:56 am

St.Mary's on the bourne (stream). The Tybourne or Tyburn

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Post by 'Wolfie on Sun Jun 30, 2019 7:23 pm

Maddog wrote:
Original Quill wrote:

Lots of things are cheap and pathetic in the US.  It's a capitalist country.  Capitalism aims at profit, not quality.

The UK is also a capitalist country, comrade.

 
pirat

Wrong again,  dipshit...

The UK is a "mixed capitalist economy", with a semi-democratic parliamentary system (their 'upper house' --  the House of Perverts and Paedo's --  is still an unelected rabble..)..

And with "socialised" healthcare and education systems  --  areas that the USA still hasn't come to grips with..

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Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Jun 30, 2019 7:26 pm

gelico wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:

No.  Marlaben   My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 859118666




you're both wrong

it's ,,,,  marry-le-bone

Rolling Eyes


That's how I pronounce it.

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Post by HoratioTarr on Sun Jun 30, 2019 7:54 pm

gelico wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:

No.  Marlaben   My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!! - Page 2 859118666




you're both wrong

it's ,,,,  marry-le-bone

Rolling Eyes


I'm from London. We always pronounced it Marlaben.   Just as Shoreditch was not Shore Ditch, but one word.

Phonetics For 'Marylebone'
mar-li-bun or mar-li-bohn (US) mah-li-bun or mah-li-b'n (British English)

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Post by HoratioTarr on Sun Jun 30, 2019 7:58 pm

nicko wrote:Marry-le -bone is correct !

It's not if you're a Londoner.

https://pronounce.london/word/marylebone/
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Post by phildidge on Sun Jun 30, 2019 8:08 pm

lol, I am also from London and nobody I know pronounces the way Horatio claims

Which means ther is many variations of how to prounounce it. I dont buy the poor excuses made in the link which fails to understand how words diverge and change through time. All that is being claimed is cockney has the true meaning of how to pronounce this, but er no. Cockneys have their own dialect on words, which is far removed from the English language on words and how they are pronounced. As we are speaking about the queens english here, not cockney

So you stand corrected here Horatio. As gelico and nicko are right, being as cockney is simple a slang form of how to say the name. Not how it should be said

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Post by nicko on Sun Jun 30, 2019 9:46 pm

Any one born within sound of Bow bells , it is said , is a Cockney. My Uncle was born two doors away, He always said , and I quote " them fucking Bells are a Nightmare" !
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Post by Ben Reilly on Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:26 am

Wow, haven't written in this in a long time! And it's not even a proper diary entry, just a funny story about eddie.

I've been sitting here, waiting for her to send me a link through Facebook Messenger, and she realized she hadn't sent it.

"Oh, I've still got it here in my finger!" she exclaimed.

I started laughing because I knew what she meant but, typical of eddie, it was such a weird-ass way of putting it.

For those who don't get it -- she had copied the link and was ready to paste it on her iPad. She thinks of this, apparently, as getting the link in her finger. She knows better, of course, but she said when she first got the iPad, she used to feel like she had to use the same finger she'd copied the link with to paste it.

Aw .... such a lovable little retard I love you

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Post by Victorismyhero on Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:41 am

ahem....Ben......the term "retard" is considered un-PC pale

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Post by Ben Reilly on Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:46 am

Victorismyhero wrote:ahem....Ben......the term "retard" is considered un-PC pale

I know some people find it offensive, but I figure if they're smart enough to be offended by it then they're not retarded, and if they're not retarded they don't really have the right to be offended Twisted Evil

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Post by eddie on Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:46 am

Ben Reilly wrote:
Victorismyhero wrote:ahem....Ben......the term "retard" is considered un-PC pale

I know some people find it offensive, but I figure if they're smart enough to be offended by it then they're not retarded, and if they're not retarded they don't really have the right to be offended Twisted Evil

Hahahahahahaha genius!

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Maybe each person you meet is just a journey.
That has never changed for me.

Why don’t you be my destination? Teach me and be humble in your knowledge.

~ eddie.... Just some hippy-trippy astrology freak, in the clouds, on her own nutjob. (But well happy in her own skin fam)
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Post by Victorismyhero on Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:48 am

ah but..."the luvvies" revel in being offended on someone else's behalf so......

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Post by Ben Reilly on Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:51 am

Victorismyhero wrote:ah but..."the luvvies" revel in being offended on someone else's behalf so......

Who you callin' a luvvy???

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Post by Victorismyhero on Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:54 am

anyone under 50 and left of ghengis khan Twisted Evil Laughing

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If at any time in 2018 I have annoyed you, pissed you off or said the wrong thing....Suck it up snowflake, cause 2019 AINT gonna be any different

Patience my Ass......I' m gonna KILLsomething

.(It's hard to remember that the task is to drain the swamp, when you are up to your arse in alligators)

[b]I DONT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by eddie on Wed Jul 24, 2019 7:04 am

Actually, Ben and I don’t do PC. It’s a tad boring. And seeing as we both know we are always joking....who the bloody hell cares?

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“Don’t think of the end of the journey as your destination. Perhaps all you needed was your destination. The journey is the learning.
Maybe each person you meet is just a journey.
That has never changed for me.

Why don’t you be my destination? Teach me and be humble in your knowledge.

~ eddie.... Just some hippy-trippy astrology freak, in the clouds, on her own nutjob. (But well happy in her own skin fam)
eddie
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Post by gelico on Wed Jul 24, 2019 8:20 am

Ben Reilly wrote:Wow, haven't written in this in a long time! And it's not even a proper diary entry, just a funny story about eddie.

I've been sitting here, waiting for her to send me a link through Facebook Messenger, and she realized she hadn't sent it.

"Oh, I've still got it here in my finger!" she exclaimed.

I started laughing because I knew what she meant but, typical of eddie, it was such a weird-ass way of putting it.

For those who don't get it -- she had copied the link and was ready to paste it on her iPad. She thinks of this, apparently, as getting the link in her finger. She knows better, of course, but she said when she first got the iPad, she used to feel like she had to use the same finger she'd copied the link with to paste it.

Aw .... such a lovable little retard I love you


well, you do don't you?

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Post by gelico on Wed Jul 24, 2019 8:24 am

Ben Reilly wrote:
Victorismyhero wrote:ahem....Ben......the term "retard" is considered un-PC pale

I know some people find it offensive, but I figure if they're smart enough to be offended by it then they're not retarded, and if they're not retarded they don't really have the right to be offended Twisted Evil


hehehehe perfect

my son called me a retard t'other day.

i have a habit of losing track of the word i want to say and trying to fill in the gap as best i can.

he said, ''you're hopeless mum, such a retard. honestly if you came into the pub where i work and tried to order a coke with a slice of lemon and some ice you would probably end up saying - brown fizzy and a bit of yellow bitter bit and some freezy blocks''

Rolling Eyes


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