Husbands Watch Porn, Wives Despair—But Why?

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Post by eddie on Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:35 pm

“I caught him betraying me,” wailed the email from a stranger named Mary. “He’s been watching porn. Why? And how can I ever trust him again when he watches women do anything he wants?”

I get this email from Mary, or Maria, or Mishti every single week. The questions and themes are remarkably consistent:

* Why do men watch porn?
* Why do men promise to stop watching, and then keep watching?
* Why don’t men understand how their porn-watching breaks women’s hearts?
* How can I make love with a man who watches porn?
* How can I trust a man who watches porn?
* Aren’t there any men who don’t hate women?

Some women seem to feel that there’s an implicit contract that their partner won’t watch porn, even though he never suggested such a thing. Therefore, they feel betrayed when he “breaks” the assumed “contract.” That’s a mistake.

Some women seem to feel that because their partner watches porn they find disgusting or scary or confusing, they have a right to object to him watching it. She has no such right, any more than he has a right to patrol the TV, novels, or videos she watches. In an adult relationship, whatever objection she has to his porn shouldn’t carry more weight (or less weight) than his objection to her CSI or romance novels or cat videos.

Some women seem to believe their partner has “left” them for porn. No sane person does that. People do withdraw from sexual relationships for many reasons, often passively or without adequate discussion. That’s a legitimate thing to complain about. Criticizing a man’s porn watching as the “cause” of a couple’s poor or missing sex life is as cowardly as a man withdrawing sexually without explaining his dissatisfaction.

Article by https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/experts/marty-klein-phd


I have never, ever understood two things:
WHY a lot of women have a problem with porn.
WHY women don’t watch it themselves or join in?

Your thoughts.

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Post by Original Quill on Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:42 pm

I was just gonna say: get her a porn account and a new laptop, stroke a tit to get her purring, then go into the other room and crank up your own hot box computer.

Wait...that doesn't sound right.

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Post by HoratioTarr on Wed Jan 02, 2019 11:46 pm

It depends on the porn.    I've had two boyfriends in the past who watched extreme porn and it did no end of damage to the relationship.   I'm not a prude but I found Bukkake absolutely abhorrent, and didn't want to share that with him  in any form or fashion.  Neither did I want to watch Golden showers and women shitting on glass topped tables.  I don't find it erotic and it doesn't turn me on.   No porn movies ever did.  They were all geared up for blokes and were either disgusting or ridiculous.

I totally get why women feel threatened, though I never felt that way myself because I'm intelligent enough to realise that it's just titillation, even the really hard core stuff.  I didn't identify with any of the women and wasn't prepared to become them.  

I never ever stopped any man I've been in a relationship with from watching porn, that would be his choice, but don't expect me to leap into the fantasy fray...it's not what most real women do.   We don't have nether regions that look like a ten year old girl's either, our tits are real and we don't moan like constipated donkeys while you posture around waving  your (shaven) cock.  

My answer to any man who wanted me to behave like a woman in porn movie would be..."The day you grow yourself a porn star's dick is the day I'll do it for you."


Last edited by HoratioTarr on Thu Jan 03, 2019 12:10 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by HoratioTarr on Wed Jan 02, 2019 11:47 pm

Taps fingers impatiently while the women of the forum Google 'Bukkake'.....
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Post by HoratioTarr on Wed Jan 02, 2019 11:49 pm

Original Quill wrote:I was just gonna say: get her a porn account and a new laptop, stroke a tit to get her purring, then go into the other room and crank up your own hot box computer.

Wait...that doesn't sound right.

Stroke a tit to get her purring?

You've been watching too much porn!

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Post by HoratioTarr on Thu Jan 03, 2019 12:08 am

eddie wrote:“I caught him betraying me,” wailed the email from a stranger named Mary. “He’s been watching porn. Why? And how can I ever trust him again when he watches women do anything he wants?”


Some women seem to feel that because their partner watches porn they find disgusting or scary or confusing, they have a right to object to him watching it. She has no such right, any more than he has a right to patrol the TV, novels, or videos she watches. In an adult relationship, whatever objection she has to his porn shouldn’t carry more weight (or less weight) than his objection to her CSI or romance novels or cat videos.


Article by https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/experts/marty-klein-phd


I have never, ever understood two things:
WHY a lot of women have a problem with porn.
WHY women don’t watch it themselves or join in?

Your thoughts.

I have a problem with that.   Porn is addictive for many people.   Very.  It can lead to needing more and more extreme stimulus in order to perform.   And yes, it's fucking insulting when your bloke prefers a tug in front of Lusty Life#89-Slide Your Long Loaf into My Hot Oven  starring Hung Wankenstein and Vagilina Holie when you're ready and willing upstairs.   How can you compare that to cat videos?  

I imagine most men, though they might not admit it, would be galled as fuck to think their woman preferred flicking herself off night after night ad infinitum to the stunt cock from Ipanema, Penis DeMilo.    How would he feel if she couldn't get any pleasure from her partner alone without the girth, length and heft of another man?  Inadequate, is what.
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Post by HoratioTarr on Thu Jan 03, 2019 12:17 am

Some women seem to believe their partner has “left” them for porn. No sane person does that. People do withdraw from sexual relationships for many reasons, often passively or without adequate discussion. That’s a legitimate thing to complain about. Criticizing a man’s porn watching as the “cause” of a couple’s poor or missing sex life is as cowardly as a man withdrawing sexually without explaining his dissatisfaction.

Oh, and this. Women do get left for porn. Most normal blokes will probably watch it, get turned on and go give the missus a good seeing too. But that's still not right with many women because they feel that they should be the ones that bring their men to that sexual pitch in the first place, not some movie. But then you get the ones who live for porn. My ex boyfriend would get up at four in the fucking morning to watch porn. He was totally addicted and cried over it, saying he had no idea why he needed it and it was destroying his sanity. He was masturbating 6 or 7 times a day. Needless to say, we didn't stay together for long.

So, it's all very well saying why not watch it with your man, or why feel threatened, or why does it make you feel unhappy. Depends entirely on your experience and the effects it has on both of you.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:11 am

Till I bought a laptop in 2007 I had never seen porn, my OH has never watched it in the house, as far as I know.
We have never needed tips or stimulus to enjoy sex, obviously nowadays it's quality over quantity, but as we have been together decades I think that's pretty normal.

The porn I have seen is obviously aimed at men, fake boobs, big arses, (hers obviously)  and as much moaning and screaming as I did when I gave birth.....and the dialogue is incredibly off putting too.

Violent porn makes me feel sick, the bits I have seen ....if they turned my OH on I think I would wonder why I was with him.....gross.

If OH did want to watch porn he could.....he doesnt need my permission.
Would I mind?...I honestly dont know ...I think I might feel a bit miffed.....not sure.

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Post by Original Quill on Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:59 am

Syl wrote:The porn I have seen is obviously aimed at men, fake boobs, big arses, (hers obviously)  and as much moaning and screaming as I did when I gave birth.....and the dialogue is incredibly off putting too.

A Swiss sexologist has argued that while men seek sex directly, women seek to be sought.  This results in men being more directly visual and tactile, while women need more of a script.

This is why female porn goes largely unnoticed, in the form of Harlequin novels and and media involving more interactive plots where women triumph or are, at least, the subject.  TV sitcoms typically involve a smart, wisecracking female lead, with a dull, unquick male, and follow this plot.

Donno if she is correct.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 03, 2019 6:19 pm

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:The porn I have seen is obviously aimed at men, fake boobs, big arses, (hers obviously)  and as much moaning and screaming as I did when I gave birth.....and the dialogue is incredibly off putting too.

A Swiss sexologist has argued that while men seek sex directly, women seek to be sought.  This results in men being more directly visual and tactile, while women need more of a script.

This is why female porn goes largely unnoticed, in the form of Harlequin novels and and media involving more interactive plots where women triumph or are, at least, the subject.  TV sitcoms typically involve a smart, wisecracking female lead, with a dull, unquick male, and follow this plot.

Donno if she is correct.

Female led shows do well there is no doubt...Coronation street, the longest running soap ever has always had strong women in the lead roles, and yes, the men are often wimps...cheats, or just plain dopey.

I'm not sure what sort of porn appeals to the average women. The 50 shades trilogy sold in their millions, I bought the first book before all the hype came out about it, I read a few chapters, and was bored stiff.

The sexiest film scene (not porn but very lusty) I can think of is in the film 'Body heat' where William Hurts character looks through the window and see's sexy Kathleen Turner deliberately being provocative, he is so overwhelmed with desire he breaks the door down to get at her....now that WAS a sexy scene in my opinion.

Who needs graphic, noisy, animal humping when you can watch a scene like that?I love you

I think maybe women are more complex in their desires tbh.

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Post by Original Quill on Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:25 pm

Body Heat, also starring Kathleen Turner, was a fantastic film.

My interest is not in porn, but in the psychology of sex and sexual identity.  If men and women view the world according to different lenses, that will make a difference in, say, politics.  One of the major issues with Trump, for example, is his inability to deal one-on-one with women.  OMG, the Democrats are led by Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House.  Donald deals in a male 'demand' world: demand and get!!  Nancy is more smooth and artful, and ends up getting more.

The TV sit-com bias is well documented, and it has to do with the fact that it deals with interaction.  But, yes, the plots generally make lite of men, and show women 'saving the day', so to speak.

Going back to sex and this Swiss sexologist (whose name escapes me), men don't need a plot...they just need a picture: men are drawn directly to sex, like they are drawn to food.

But women are drawn to men who are drawn to them.  A subtle difference, but a wholly different psychology, involving another person and interaction.  The element of requiring interaction makes the psychology of women more like social psychology--which is to say, not contained within the self.

That's maybe why women are better at group things.  They are more practiced at interactive scripts.  In one sense it's a liability, in that women appear to need men; but in another sense, it's an advantage in that they get more practice at it.

Ahah...the porn question is much more than just naughty behavior.  Human psychology is a huge, complex thing, that can link things like sexual lust to party affiliation.

If we weren’t so scared of talking about sex, we could learn a lot about our behaviors in other areas and fields.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:43 pm

I dont know that people are frightened of talking about sex in this day and age....some seem to talk about little else. And certainly sex sells anything and everything....even the watch I had bought me for Christmas is titled 'Seksy'.....and I just like it because it sparkles. Razz

I do think women want to be wanted, they want to feel alluring and special, men just want sex, if it's there they will take it...and yes I am generalising.
Women are more choosy (it is said) because they want strong male seeds whilst men just want to sow as many as possible.

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Post by Original Quill on Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:57 pm

Syl wrote:I dont know that people are frightened of talking about sex in this day and age....some seem to talk about little else. And certainly sex sells anything and everything....even the watch I had bought me for Christmas is titled 'Seksy'.....and I just like it because it sparkles. Razz

Yeah but, people (at least evangelicals) are so cutesy and covert in discussing it.  

Syl wrote:I do think women want to be wanted, they want to feel alluring and special, men just want sex, if it's there they will take it...and yes I am generalising.
Women are more choosy (it is said) because they want strong male seeds whilst men just want to sow as many as possible.

You've got good reason to generalize.  It's the truth.

As to the "choosy" comment, I think both sexes have reason to be selective.  Remember, it's Nature that is looking for "strong" seeds, not necessarily the woman.  The woman wants a mate who will be so attracted he will stick around and help her raise the family.  Anyway, that's my take on it.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:03 pm

Which makes me think...why do so many women in this modern age pick badly and choose mates who dont stick around?
So many women now have different kids to different men, and end up as single mothers anyway?
Has the female "picky gene" been watered down with time I wonder?

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Post by HoratioTarr on Fri Jan 04, 2019 12:28 am

Syl wrote:Which makes me think...why do so many women in this modern age pick badly and choose mates who dont stick around?
So many women now have different kids to different men, and end up as single mothers anyway?
Has the female  "picky gene" been watered down with time I wonder?

I think it's symptomatic of the more casual nature of relationships. People don't have to stick around, so they don't.
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Post by HoratioTarr on Fri Jan 04, 2019 12:31 am

Syl wrote:
Original Quill wrote:

A Swiss sexologist has argued that while men seek sex directly, women seek to be sought.  This results in men being more directly visual and tactile, while women need more of a script.

This is why female porn goes largely unnoticed, in the form of Harlequin novels and and media involving more interactive plots where women triumph or are, at least, the subject.  TV sitcoms typically involve a smart, wisecracking female lead, with a dull, unquick male, and follow this plot.

Donno if she is correct.

Female led shows do well there is no doubt...Coronation street, the longest running soap ever has always had strong women in the lead roles, and yes, the men are often wimps...cheats, or just plain dopey.

I'm not sure what sort of porn appeals to the average women. The 50 shades trilogy sold in their millions, I bought the first book before all the hype came out about it, I read a few chapters, and was bored stiff.

The sexiest film scene (not porn but very lusty) I can think of is in the film 'Body heat' where William Hurts character  looks through the window and see's sexy Kathleen Turner deliberately being provocative,  he is so overwhelmed with desire he breaks the door down to get at her....now that WAS a sexy scene in my opinion.

Who needs graphic, noisy, animal humping when you can watch a scene like that?I love you

I think maybe women are more complex in their desires tbh.  

I think most women enjoy scenarios and situations that lead up to sex, more then the grunting sweaty nonsense you see in a porno.  What's sexy about that?   I know men are more visual, but women are more cerebral when it comes to sex.   And I believe the best sex originates in your head.
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Post by HoratioTarr on Fri Jan 04, 2019 12:36 am

Syl wrote:I dont know that people are frightened of talking about sex in this day and age....some seem to talk about little else. And certainly sex sells anything and everything....even the watch I had bought me for Christmas is titled 'Seksy'.....and I just like it because it sparkles. Razz

I do think women want to be wanted, they want to feel alluring and special, men just want sex, if it's there they will take it...and yes I am generalising.
Women are more choosy (it is said) because they want strong male seeds whilst men just want to sow as many as possible.

This is human nature though. We all gravitate to the person we feel most compatible with, sexually, mentally, emotionally, physically. I've kissed a few frogs...but the person I'm with now fits all the criteria. And he makes me laugh. I had a friend once who swore that a bloke had to have a sense of humour, or no go.
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Post by Original Quill on Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:37 am

HT wrote:I think most women enjoy scenarios and situations that lead up to sex, more then the grunting sweaty nonsense you see in a porno.  What's sexy about that?   I know men are more visual, but women are more cerebral when it comes to sex.   And I believe the best sex originates in your head.

Exactly what this Swiss psychologist/sexologist is saying about female erotica.  You say "cerebral", she says "interactive"... both of you are talking about a plan, or a script that goes on in the head.

Although male porn doesn't have to be "sweaty", I get your point.  There is a certain lack of "cerebral" to male porn.  It's, there it is: and there it's gone.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:53 am

Porn is just like everything else, some's good, some's bad, most is mediocre.

I do think more couples should be open about what they like, and they should try watching it together. It's another compatibility issue in a relationship, and one far more important than whether one likes Italian food and the other doesn't.

Bottom line is that if you can't open up to your partner about your fantasies, what you like to watch, that sort of thing, you don't have true intimacy.

But I guess a lot of couples don't have that, really. Far too many people find it shameful.

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Post by Syl on Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:25 am

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Porn is just like everything else, some's good, some's bad, most is mediocre.

I do think more couples should be open about what they like, and they should try watching it together. It's another compatibility issue in a relationship, and one far more important than whether one likes Italian food and the other doesn't.

Bottom line is that if you can't open up to your partner about your fantasies, what you like to watch, that sort of thing, you don't have true intimacy.

But I guess a lot of couples don't have that, really. Far too many people find it shameful.

On the other hand some people dont need porn to stimulate their conversation about what they do or dont like....they communicate without anyone elses input.

If someone is too introverted to talk to their partner about what turns them on and vice versa, I cant see them wanting to watch anyone else humping like a dog for idea's.

I have thought about why porn doesnt interest me, it's because it's so detached, like simply using one another for sex without any real emotion to give it any substance....it's also very badly acted....for a classy passionate believable sex  encounter  I refer back to the scene in the film Body heat.... I love you

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:30 am

Okay, this needs to be said

Porn is simple an extensionof peoples fantasies

This is a fact

If people are more interested in porn over sex with their partner. Then the other partner either has to find common ground or get the hell out of that relationship

As for people to need porn, shows a lack of sexual stimulas between each other

Its as simple as that

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Post by eddie on Sat Jan 05, 2019 2:56 pm

Syl wrote:
>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Porn is just like everything else, some's good, some's bad, most is mediocre.

I do think more couples should be open about what they like, and they should try watching it together. It's another compatibility issue in a relationship, and one far more important than whether one likes Italian food and the other doesn't.

Bottom line is that if you can't open up to your partner about your fantasies, what you like to watch, that sort of thing, you don't have true intimacy.

But I guess a lot of couples don't have that, really. Far too many people find it shameful.

On the other hand some people dont need porn to stimulate their conversation about what they do or dont like....they communicate without anyone elses input.

If someone is too introverted to talk to their partner about what turns them on and vice versa, I cant see them wanting to watch anyone else humping like a dog for idea's.

I have thought about why porn doesnt interest me, it's because it's so detached, like simply using one another for sex without any real emotion to give it any substance....it's also very badly acted....for a classy passionate believable sex  encounter  I refer back to the scene in the film Body heat.... I love you

Yeah you’re right about the badly acted porn. That’s why most of it is pretty rubbish. Good porn is a couple (of whatever sex) who are actually enjoying it without being paid.
I like porn, I can watch it alone or with my partner as part of a “background scene” on a naughty night.

Lots of couples can have intimate, beautiful sex, intense and loving without any “side dishes”....and they can also have fantasy sex, where they’re both enjoying their mutual sexual games.

To me, sex is a mutual enjoyment and sometimes, mostly, it’s all about the love and sometimes it’s like a fairground ride, there for the pure and simple pleasure and fantasy.

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Post by HoratioTarr on Sat Jan 05, 2019 3:27 pm

eddie wrote:
Syl wrote:

On the other hand some people dont need porn to stimulate their conversation about what they do or dont like....they communicate without anyone elses input.

If someone is too introverted to talk to their partner about what turns them on and vice versa, I cant see them wanting to watch anyone else humping like a dog for idea's.

I have thought about why porn doesnt interest me, it's because it's so detached, like simply using one another for sex without any real emotion to give it any substance....it's also very badly acted....for a classy passionate believable sex  encounter  I refer back to the scene in the film Body heat.... I love you

Yeah you’re right about the badly acted porn. That’s why most of it is pretty rubbish. Good porn is a couple (of whatever sex) who are actually enjoying it without being paid.
I like porn, I can watch it alone or with my partner as part of a “background scene” on a naughty night.

Lots of couples can have intimate, beautiful sex, intense and loving  without any “side dishes”....and they can also have fantasy sex, where they’re both enjoying their mutual sexual games.

To me, sex is a mutual enjoyment and sometimes, mostly, it’s all about the love and sometimes it’s like a fairground ride, there for the pure and simple pleasure and fantasy.

Call me old fashioned but sex is a bonding thing for me. Always has been. I agree that you should be able to do all and everything with your partner, as its as much about trust as love and lust. If you can't do that...then it's just fucking. But sometimes a good hard ride is just the ticket. But even with that, you know your partner loves you. I've never, ever had a one night stand. It doesn't appeal to me on any level.
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Post by HoratioTarr on Sat Jan 05, 2019 3:30 pm

Thor wrote:Okay, this needs to be said

Porn is simple an extensionof peoples fantasies

This is a fact

If people are more interested in porn over sex with their partner. Then the other partner either has to find common ground or get the hell out of that relationship

As for people to need porn, shows a lack of sexual stimulas between each other

Its as simple as that

Very true. I think many relationships fail in the bedroom. If things aren't right there, it makes for an odd relationship so far as I'm concerned. Though I'm sure there are people who are happily celibate.
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Post by eddie on Sat Jan 05, 2019 6:13 pm

HoratioTarr wrote:
eddie wrote:
Syl wrote:

On the other hand some people dont need porn to stimulate their conversation about what they do or dont like....they communicate without anyone elses input.

If someone is too introverted to talk to their partner about what turns them on and vice versa, I cant see them wanting to watch anyone else humping like a dog for idea's.

I have thought about why porn doesnt interest me, it's because it's so detached, like simply using one another for sex without any real emotion to give it any substance....it's also very badly acted....for a classy passionate believable sex  encounter  I refer back to the scene in the film Body heat.... I love you

Yeah you’re right about the badly acted porn. That’s why most of it is pretty rubbish. Good porn is a couple (of whatever sex) who are actually enjoying it without being paid.
I like porn, I can watch it alone or with my partner as part of a “background scene” on a naughty night.

Lots of couples can have intimate, beautiful sex, intense and loving  without any “side dishes”....and they can also have fantasy sex, where they’re both enjoying their mutual sexual games.

To me, sex is a mutual enjoyment and sometimes, mostly, it’s all about the love and sometimes it’s like a fairground ride, there for the pure and simple pleasure and fantasy.

Call me old fashioned but sex is a bonding thing for me.  Always has been.   I agree that you should be able to do all and everything with your partner, as its as much about trust as love and lust.   If you can't do that...then it's just fucking.   But sometimes a good hard ride is just the ticket.  But even with that, you know your partner loves you.   I've never, ever had a one night stand.   It doesn't appeal to me on any level.

No. I am not into one night stands. I’d rather have a wank.

Of course sex is about bonding, you can bond over your love of sex toys, porn, whips, chains, using food blah blah or whatever turns you both on.
Sex should be as much about fun as it is about love....and having fun with the one you love is love...right?

I’ve never been into pain or sex with food for instance, so if I met a guy who was into that big time it probably wouldn’t work for long...he’d want to do that or watch it and I couldn’t join in.
You have to be compatible.

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Post by Syl on Sat Jan 05, 2019 6:32 pm

Thats three of us then that has never had a one night stand.

I wonder if three male posters could honestly claim the same? Laughing

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Post by Vintage on Sat Jan 05, 2019 7:36 pm

You can make that four.
Sex and relationships have always been a serious subject for me, outside of a committed relationship that is, in a committed relationship is something else altogether, so growing up in the permissive society I wasn't too popular, nature and nurture in my case and I certainly did not want to marry the wrong person because I had to.
As has been said the porn I have seen was boring, predictable, badly acted and embarrassing to me for those involved, some I didn't finish watching I thought, were degrading for the female involved and women in general. Friends of ours, a couple, were very much into porn and as it turned out extramarital affairs/one night stands for the husband at first but his wife soon decided what's good for the gander is good for the goose.
Don't really need porn we seem to do ok by ourselves, and again as has been said its quality now.

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Post by eddie on Sat Jan 05, 2019 8:01 pm

Syl wrote:Thats three of us then that has never had a one night stand.

I wonder if three male posters could honestly claim the same? Laughing

Well I actually know quite a few men who feel the same.

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:03 pm

Syl wrote:Thats three of us then that has never had a one night stand.

I wonder if three male posters could honestly claim the same? Laughing

Never had a one-night stand and honestly, outside of the realm of fantasy, it doesn't interest me. Here's why - having sex with someone you don't know is essentially using a human being as a sex toy.

When you think about it that way - ick, right?

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:08 pm

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:
Syl wrote:Thats three of us then that has never had a one night stand.

I wonder if three male posters could honestly claim the same? Laughing

Never had a one-night stand and honestly, outside of the realm of fantasy, it doesn't interest me. Here's why - having sex with someone you don't know is essentially using a human being as a sex toy.

When you think about it that way - ick, right?


Is it fuck.

Two people can enjoy the moment of sex, by simple being sexually attracted to each other and have great sex

Just because you think otherwise, dont demean sex, because you cannot have a one night stand

I fail to see the fuss. As sometimes raw passionate sex, without the need of love. Can be exhilarating and its always at a heightened sense of sexual attraction

So no not ick and even more how can you even say so, when you have never done so?

Look, there is nothing more beautiful when people are in love, but stop with the crap about one night stands being some how wrong.

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Post by Vintage on Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:31 pm

There's nothing wrong with one night stands if that's what both want and are responsible about it, not everyone is the same though.

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:33 pm

Vintage wrote:There's nothing wrong with one night stands if that's what both want and are responsible about it, not everyone is the same though.


Indeed, so why are some here trying to judge this, based on them never having done so?

Let people let and let live, I say

I get so bored though when some people claim some pathetic moral high ground as if they are better than people, simple because they have not had raw passionate uncomplicated sex.

It bores the pants off me, espcially, when I certainly do not judge them on their love

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Post by Vintage on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:11 pm

Bore the pants off you, how appropriate.
Well, I may have pretty rigid standards and feel that's right for me and the best in the long run but I don't condemn anyone with a different idea, provided they don't step on my beliefs, I won't step on theirs.

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:14 pm

Vintage wrote:Bore the pants off you, how appropriate.
Well, I may have pretty rigid standards and feel that's right for me and the best in the long run but I don't condemn anyone with a different idea, provided they don't step on my beliefs, I won't step on theirs.

Who said you did judge people here or are you that paranoid, that you thought my views were made to you?

Stop being so paranoid

Yes it bores the pants off me when people like Ben, claiming having a one night stand is treating someone basically like a sex toy

That bores me, with him thinking he is such a moral judge on sexual encounters, when he has never even had a one night stand

I cant stand people being as literally as pathetic as that

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Post by Ben Reilly on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:16 pm

Thor wrote:
Vintage wrote:Bore the pants off you, how appropriate.
Well, I may have pretty rigid standards and feel that's right for me and the best in the long run but I don't condemn anyone with a different idea, provided they don't step on my beliefs, I won't step on theirs.

Who said you did judge people here or are you that paranoid, that you thought my views were made to you?

Stop being so paranoid

Yes it bores the pants off me when people like Ben, claiming having a one night stand is treating someone basically like a sex toy

That bores me, with him thinking he is so moral judge on sexual encounters

Well if you made such a connection, why didn't you want to see him again?

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:18 pm

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:
Thor wrote:

Who said you did judge people here or are you that paranoid, that you thought my views were made to you?

Stop being so paranoid

Yes it bores the pants off me when people like Ben, claiming having a one night stand is treating someone basically like a sex toy

That bores me, with him thinking he is so moral judge on sexual encounters

Well if you made such a connection, why didn't you want to see him again?

Because I knew it would never end up as a relationship, we just wanted raw uncomplicated sex.

You do realise people simple like fucking?


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Post by eddie on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:28 pm

So why do you have such a negative attitude to porn then?

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:29 pm

eddie wrote:So why do you have such a negative attitude to porn then?

Where did I claim to have a negative attitude to porn?

What did I actually say?

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Post by Vintage on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:29 pm

Thor wrote:
Vintage wrote:Bore the pants off you, how appropriate.
Well, I may have pretty rigid standards and feel that's right for me and the best in the long run but I don't condemn anyone with a different idea, provided they don't step on my beliefs, I won't step on theirs.

Who said you did judge people here or are you that paranoid, that you thought my views were made to you?

Stop being so paranoid

Yes it bores the pants off me when people like Ben, claiming having a one night stand is treating someone basically like a sex toy

That bores me, with him thinking he is such a moral judge on sexual encounters, when he has never even had a one night stand

I cant stand people being as literally as pathetic as that


I wasn't saying you judged me, just making an observation.

Don't take it so personally.

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:31 pm

Also what has porn got to do with having uncomplicated sex?

I think that is a million times better than watching porn, dont you Eddie?

If you need porn to stimulate your relationship, good luck to you

I said what on this?

Eiether the other partner has to get on board or get the hell out of that relationship

If you are turned on by others having sex, then is that using Bens warped view, not using them, to get sexually excited?

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Post by Thorin on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:31 pm

Vintage wrote:
Thor wrote:

Who said you did judge people here or are you that paranoid, that you thought my views were made to you?

Stop being so paranoid

Yes it bores the pants off me when people like Ben, claiming having a one night stand is treating someone basically like a sex toy

That bores me, with him thinking he is such a moral judge on sexual encounters, when he has never even had a one night stand

I cant stand people being as literally as pathetic as that


I wasn't saying you judged me, just making an observation.

Don't take it so personally.

You did judge my view on being bored

Hence why I replied

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Post by Vintage on Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:34 pm

OK if you like.

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Post by nicko on Sun Jan 06, 2019 7:53 am

Used to watch a bit of Porn when younger, but I preferred the real thing. I'v had a couple of "one night stands] I enjoyed them !
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Post by HoratioTarr on Sun Jan 06, 2019 11:18 am

Thor wrote:
Vintage wrote:There's nothing wrong with one night stands if that's what both want and are responsible about it, not everyone is the same though.


Indeed, so why are some here trying to judge this, based on them never having done so?

Let people let and let live, I say

I get so bored though when some people claim some pathetic moral high ground as if they are better than people, simple because they have not had raw passionate uncomplicated sex.

It bores the pants off me, espcially, when I certainly do not judge them on their love

I'm certainly not judging people if they want a quick fumble on the back of a bus. It's just not for me.
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Post by Thorin on Sun Jan 06, 2019 11:23 am

HoratioTarr wrote:
Thor wrote:


Indeed, so why are some here trying to judge this, based on them never having done so?

Let people let and let live, I say

I get so bored though when some people claim some pathetic moral high ground as if they are better than people, simple because they have not had raw passionate uncomplicated sex.

It bores the pants off me, espcially, when I certainly do not judge them on their love

I'm certainly not judging people if they want a quick fumble on the back of a bus.   It's just not for me.  


Okay that did make me chuckle and glad to see you do not judge people for mutual sexual fun

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Post by Syl on Sun Jan 06, 2019 4:32 pm

Surely there is no right or wrong re porn, one night stands, celibacy, or anything else as long as it's legal, hurting no one else, you protect yourself and everyone involved is a consenting adult.

People were asked for their opinions...my opinion is I dont like porn, one night stands are not for me, and anything else I do is my preference ..and the same applies to us all.

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