The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

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The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:17 pm

Marriages and relationships have often been broken when people have paired up with their dance partners on TV's Strictly come dancing..and promptly fell for them.
The latest couple to cheat on their real partners with their dancing partners has made headlines over the last couple of days...they were caught passionately kissing in the street after a night out.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6250199/Strictlys-Seann-Walsh-APOLOGIES-kissing-married-dance-partner-Katya-Jones.html

But it was just a kiss not an affair (if they are to be believed) His long term girlfriend seems to have dumped him, but  is a kiss worth ending a relationship?

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:19 pm

My own opinion is a passionate kiss can be just as intimate, maybe more so, than a full on sex session.
Would you end your marriage/relationship if your OH was caught snogging another woman??.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:27 pm

But you said yourself that it was just a girlfriend. What does it add that she was a "long-term girlfriend", but that he was bored? The dance partnership gave him the incentive for something better.

Sometimes, in love and fortune, things happen for the best. How many couples do you know who say, s/he was dating my best friend when we met?

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Mon Oct 08, 2018 5:00 pm

Original Quill wrote:But you said yourself that it was just a girlfriend.  What does it add that she was a "long-term girlfriend", but that he was bored?  The dance partnership gave him the incentive for something better.

Sometimes, in love and fortune, things happen for the best.  How many couples do you know who say, s/he was dating my best friend when we met?

I didnt say she was 'just' a girlfriend Quill...if you are in a serious relationship the commitment should be there whether a couple are married or not surely.

Things do happen in relationships , sometimes for the best, but sneaking around snogging another woman whilst in a serious relationship with someone else is tantamount to cheating....even if they havent taken it any further.
The pro dancer is no better either, she is actually married.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Mon Oct 08, 2018 5:13 pm

Syl wrote:
Original Quill wrote:But you said yourself that it was just a girlfriend.  What does it add that she was a "long-term girlfriend", but that he was bored?  The dance partnership gave him the incentive for something better.

Sometimes, in love and fortune, things happen for the best.  How many couples do you know who say, s/he was dating my best friend when we met?

I didnt say she was 'just' a girlfriend Quill...if you are in a serious relationship the commitment should be there whether a couple are married or not surely.

They probably would get married if they were in a "serious relationship". There's dating and then there's marriage. Before marriage, all bets are up for grabs.

Syl wrote:Things do happen in relationships , sometimes for the best, but sneaking around snogging another woman whilst in a serious relationship with someone else is tantamount to cheating....even if they havent taken it any further.
The pro dancer is no better either, she is actually married.

I don't like sneaking around, either. When I was dating, I was always open and truthful. But women just kind of fall into a kind of possessiveness. It always ended badly, no matter. So, how do we gauge which is the "serious relationship", without marriage?

Sometimes when I hear those, he was dating my best friend when we met...haha, I muse to meself, I'd like to hear that story sometime. Rolling Eyes

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Mon Oct 08, 2018 5:21 pm

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:

I didnt say she was 'just' a girlfriend Quill...if you are in a serious relationship the commitment should be there whether a couple are married or not surely.

They probably would get married if they were in a "serious relationship".  There's dating and then there's marriage.  Before marriage, all bets are up for grabs.

Syl wrote:Things do happen in relationships , sometimes for the best, but sneaking around snogging another woman whilst in a serious relationship with someone else is tantamount to cheating....even if they havent taken it any further.
The pro dancer is no better either, she is actually married.

I don't like sneaking around, either.  When I was dating, I was always open and truthful.  But women just kind of fall into a kind of possessiveness.  It always ended badly, no matter.  So, how do we gauge which is the "serious relationship", without marriage?

Sometimes when I hear those, he was dating my best friend when we met...haha, I muse to meself, I'd like to hear that story sometime.  Rolling Eyes

My experience is men can be a lot more possessive than women can, and when we read of men actually killing their own kids to get back at the wife who left him, it proves that men can sink far lower than scorned women who might cut the sleeves off their cheating partners suits, or sew prawns in the curtain lining before they leave.

The best friend scenario...if the best friend cheats with her/his friends partner, should be binned just as quick as the cheater....who needs friends ike that?

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Mon Oct 08, 2018 6:05 pm

Well, I view those as singular cases.  But, my experience is that women (and I don't deny, men probably as well) make assumptions just out of time spent.

It's no longer an issue with me, but I used to be able to gauge it by the degree of self-righteousness I confronted if I chose to be with someone else.  By self-righteousness, I mean not just anger, but expectation and...well, entitlement.  And I mean, even with a guy friend...I used to be confronted with uncomfortable anger if I chose to be with George or James, etc.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Mon Oct 08, 2018 6:10 pm

Original Quill wrote:Well, I view those as singular cases.  But, my experience is that women (and I don't deny, men probably as well) make assumptions just out of time spent.

It's no longer an issue with me, but I used to be able to gauge it by the degree of self-righteousness I confronted if I chose to be with someone else.  By self-righteousness, I mean not just anger, but expectation and...well, possessiveness.  And I mean, even with a guy friend...I used to be confronted with uncomfortable anger if I chose to be with George or James, etc.

Maybe you are just so likable everyone wanted to be your priority. Laughing

I have come across a very few people like that, tbh I hate that sort of cloying friendship, it's very wearisome.
When it's a romantic relationship, I havent had many, but all of them have been serious...ie...no messing around with others.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Mon Oct 08, 2018 7:57 pm

Syl wrote:
Original Quill wrote:Well, I view those as singular cases.  But, my experience is that women (and I don't deny, men probably as well) make assumptions just out of time spent.

It's no longer an issue with me, but I used to be able to gauge it by the degree of self-righteousness I confronted if I chose to be with someone else.  By self-righteousness, I mean not just anger, but expectation and...well, possessiveness.  And I mean, even with a guy friend...I used to be confronted with uncomfortable anger if I chose to be with George or James, etc.

Maybe you are just so likable everyone wanted to be your priority. Laughing

Or maybe there's a natural inclination toward pair bonding. Most people don't know it's happening, so they go with the flow. I know, it's very hard to just remain friends...it's you're in, or it's over.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:57 am

Seems comedian Sean Walsh has been kicked out by his actress girlfriend Rebecca Humphries. She is getting lots of support on social media....his reputation is in ruins after publicly humiliating her.
She has tweeted about him being a bit of an arse throughout their relationship....so it sounds like she is well rid.

Her tweet....good for her.

“Hello there, My name is Rebecca Humphries and I am not a victim.
I wasn't sure whether to respond to events from the past week, but I feel the narrative has missed a couple of crucial elements that I would like to clear up.
It’s incredibly good of Sean(n) and Katya to apologise in the media. I have received nothing. other than the support of my family, friends, and a host of strangers on the internet who all wanted to make sure I was OK.
What I have also kindly received are many offers to sell my side of the story, but I would prefer for it to be on my own terms.
“Those pictures were taken on October 3, it was my birthday. I was alone at home when Sean texted at 10pm saying the two of them were going for one innocent drink.
We spoke, and I told him, not for the first time, that his actions over the past three weeks had led me to believe something inappropriate was going on.
He aggressively and repeatedly called me a psycho/nuts/mental. As he has done countless times throughout our relationship when I’ve questioned his inappropriate, hurtful behaviour.
But - this whole business has served to remind me that I am a strong, capable person who is now free: and no victim.
I have a voice and will use it by saying this to any woman out there who deep down feels worthless and trapped with a man they love: Believe in yourself and your instincts.
It's more than lying. It's controlling. Tell some very close friends who, if they’re anything like my wonderful network, will swoop in and take care of the logistics and of you.
It’s important also to recognise that in these situations those who hold power over you are insecure and fragile and the need for control comes from a place of vulnerability. I think it certainly does in Sean’s case.
Despite everything I hope he gets what he wants from this. I'm not sorry I took the cat, though."


The couple in happier times.


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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:37 pm

Sounds like a normal break-up. It'll blow over.

Sean has found Katya. Rebecca will find someone else. The new relationships will be better than the past one...it's all good.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:05 pm

Original Quill wrote:Sounds like a normal break-up.  It'll blow over.

Sean has found Katya.  Rebecca will find someone else.  The new relationships will be better than the past one...it's all good.

Like many breakups it's not that simple.
Sean is on his tod and apparently homeless, Katya is still with her husband and wants to remain so, he is another pro dancer from Strictly, and Rebecca has found empowerment in shedding the cheating two timing Sean.

This show is renowned for couples getting together and cheating on their partners. Obviously the professional dancers are very fit and very good looking, so the celebs, who spend lots of time getting up close and very personal with their dance partners whilst learning some of the very sexy dances....are obviously tempted.
They call it the Strictly curse. Twisted Evil

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:16 pm

Syl wrote:
Original Quill wrote:Sounds like a normal break-up.  It'll blow over.

Sean has found Katya.  Rebecca will find someone else.  The new relationships will be better than the past one...it's all good.

Like many breakups it's not that simple.
Sean is on his tod and apparently homeless, Katya is still with her husband and wants to remain so,  he is another pro dancer from Strictly, and Rebecca has found empowerment in shedding the cheating two timing Sean.

This show is renowned for couples getting together and cheating on their partners. Obviously the professional dancers are very fit and very good looking, so the celebs, who spend lots of time getting up close and very personal with their dance partners whilst learning some of the very sexy dances....are obviously tempted.
They call it the Strictly curse. Twisted Evil

Maybe they are all lone wolves. It's a unique sub-species that draws on a distant past, where pair bonding was casual and temporary. It manifests itself in modern times as serial polygamy.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:56 pm

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:

Like many breakups it's not that simple.
Sean is on his tod and apparently homeless, Katya is still with her husband and wants to remain so,  he is another pro dancer from Strictly, and Rebecca has found empowerment in shedding the cheating two timing Sean.

This show is renowned for couples getting together and cheating on their partners. Obviously the professional dancers are very fit and very good looking, so the celebs, who spend lots of time getting up close and very personal with their dance partners whilst learning some of the very sexy dances....are obviously tempted.
They call it the Strictly curse. Twisted Evil

Maybe they are all lone wolves.  It's a unique sub-species that draws on a distant past, where pair bonding was casual and temporary.  It manifests itself in modern times as serial polygamy.

Some people (and I would say men more than women) do seem to find it impossible to stay faithful to one person for long.
I think possibly they would stay with one partner if they could get away with having numerous affairs, thankfully women dont have to put up with that in this day and age, and statistics show that it is women who more than men call time on their marriages.


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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:58 pm

No one has answered whether they personally think a kiss would be the end of their relationship....it's not an affair, just a snog....maybe just a drunken snog.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Tue Oct 09, 2018 6:33 pm

Syl wrote:Some people (and I would say men more than women) do seem to find it impossible to stay faithful to one person for long.
I think possibly they would stay with one partner if they could get away with having numerous affairs, thankfully women dont have to put up with that in this day and age, and statistics show that it is women who more than men call time on their marriages.

Some things get less attention, because they are more a subject of agency than alienated study.  It's easier to study a broken leg than a broken heart, because the template for a proper love is personal and private.

One thing that contributes to serial polygamy is abandonment fear.  Abandonment fear often stems from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.

One consequence of abandonment fear is that a kind of scar tissue forms between the individual and any mate, that shields the individual from any future abandonment, but also makes it difficult, if not impossible to closely bond.  This is often based on the fear that abandonment will recur.

A child who was abandoned by a parent or caregiver may have mood swings or anger later in life. These behaviors can alienate potential intimate partners and friends, either by pushing an intimate away, or behaving such that the intimate leaves. A child’s self-esteem can also be affected by lack of parental support.  These people often become the "lone wolves" about which we were just speaking.

I don't think, given the general nature of the cause, that the syndrome is limited to one gender or another.  Loss or alienation of a parent can happen to either gender.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by eddie on Tue Oct 09, 2018 7:44 pm

Syl wrote:My own opinion is a passionate kiss can be just as intimate, maybe more so, than a full on sex session.
Would you end your marriage/relationship if your OH was caught snogging another woman??.

Yes.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by >THE Ben Reilly< on Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:08 pm

eddie wrote:
Syl wrote:My own opinion is a passionate kiss can be just as intimate, maybe more so, than a full on sex session.
Would you end your marriage/relationship if your OH was caught snogging another woman??.

Yes.

Agreed. I agree, the passionate kiss could be even more of a betrayal than catching them in bed, because a kiss implies more than just lust. That's an emotional betrayal on top of the physical one.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by eddie on Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:11 pm

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:
eddie wrote:
Syl wrote:My own opinion is a passionate kiss can be just as intimate, maybe more so, than a full on sex session.
Would you end your marriage/relationship if your OH was caught snogging another woman??.

Yes.

Agreed. I agree, the passionate kiss could be even more of a betrayal than catching them in bed, because a kiss implies more than just lust. That's an emotional betrayal on top of the physical one.


Yes. I would get a baseball bat and smash you both up real good.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Wed Oct 10, 2018 6:55 pm

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:Some people (and I would say men more than women) do seem to find it impossible to stay faithful to one person for long.
I think possibly they would stay with one partner if they could get away with having numerous affairs, thankfully women dont have to put up with that in this day and age, and statistics show that it is women who more than men call time on their marriages.

Some things get less attention, because they are more a subject of agency than alienated study.  It's easier to study a broken leg than a broken heart, because the template for a proper love is personal and private.

One thing that contributes to serial polygamy is abandonment fear.  Abandonment fear often stems from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.

One consequence of abandonment fear is that a kind of scar tissue forms between the individual and any mate, that shields the individual from any future abandonment, but also makes it difficult, if not impossible to closely bond.  This is often based on the fear that abandonment will recur.

A child who was abandoned by a parent or caregiver may have mood swings or anger later in life. These behaviors can alienate potential intimate partners and friends, either by pushing an intimate away, or behaving such that the intimate leaves.  A child’s self-esteem can also be affected by lack of parental support.  These people often become the "lone wolves" about which we were just speaking.

I don't think, given the general nature of the cause, that the syndrome is limited to one gender or another.  Loss or alienation of a parent can happen to either gender.

Well yes , all of the above could apply.....but maybe some people just cant keep their **** in their pants or their knickers on because they are simply immature and always looking for a cheap thrill. Laughing

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:49 pm

Syl wrote:Well yes , all of the above could apply.....but maybe some people just cant keep their **** in their pants or their knickers on because they are simply immature and always looking for a cheap thrill.

That's my point. "Too immature" is too easy. It's more complex.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:03 am

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:Well yes , all of the above could apply.....but maybe some people just cant keep their **** in their pants or their knickers on because they are simply immature and always looking for a cheap thrill.

That's my point.  "Too immature" is too easy.  It's more complex.

That's debatable. I think many people cheat because they think they will get away with it, it's only when they are caught they come uo with excuses or reasons of why they have acted inappropriately.
Some human behaviour is a lot more simple than people make out.

What I find a despicable about this case, is the way he tried to turn it onto his partner, calling her psycho, nuts and mental, to cover his own behaviour. I know it's a well worn trick to blame the innocent party, but it shows he isnt an honourable human being.
Rebecca is well shot of him, she deserves better. She will get over this, I bet his career is finished now.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:11 am

Syl wrote:
Original Quill wrote:

That's my point.  "Too immature" is too easy.  It's more complex.

That's debatable. I think many people cheat because they think they will get away with it, it's only when they are caught they come uo with excuses or reasons of why they have acted inappropriately.

Well, that's always a part of it.  But it isn't the real motivating factor.

Syl wrote:Some human behaviour is a lot more simple than people make out.

Unless there is a more complex answer.  When you talk about 'getting away with it', you are talking about means, not real motives (or ends).  Your attempt to make it out to be simpler is an effort to impose judgment without further inquiry.  In other words, you're feeling the fight.  When you back off, you see that there is more to discover in the cause.

Syl wrote:What I find a despicable about this case, is the way he tried to turn it onto his partner, calling her psycho, nuts and mental, to cover his own behaviour. I know it's a well worn trick to blame the innocent party, but it shows he isnt an honourable human being.

Rebecca is well shot of him, she deserves better. She will get over this, I bet his career is finished now.

See?  You are still in the judgment part of the controversy.  To call it a "well worn trick" is to emphasize the means of it all ("trick").  It's a lot more interesting if you back off, and investigate the psychological motives behind the trick.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:13 am

I would think that his girlfriend wasn't just pissed off about the kiss, it was probably the fact that it was a very public kiss caught on camera. Who needs that kind of humiliation?

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by nicko on Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:44 am

Too much publicity over this, who gives a shit anyway ?
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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:41 am

nicko wrote:Too much publicity over this,   who gives a shit anyway ?

On the grand scale of things it's trivial Nicko I agree.
However, human stories like this sometimes catch the imagination....many who have  been cheated on can identify with her heartbreak, and her twitter outlining how she has been treated and how she will no longer put up with it was bloody great, thats why she is getting so much public backing...and not only from other women either.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:45 am

Raggamuffin wrote:I would think that his girlfriend wasn't just pissed off about the kiss, it was probably the fact that it was a very public kiss caught on camera. Who needs that kind of humiliation?

Plus the fact that a week later she was in the audience cheering them both on, as yet unaware of that they had been cavorting around together....double humiliation.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:53 am

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:

That's debatable. I think many people cheat because they think they will get away with it, it's only when they are caught they come uo with excuses or reasons of why they have acted inappropriately.

Well, that's always a part of it.  But it isn't the real motivating factor.

Syl wrote:Some human behaviour is a lot more simple than people make out.

Unless there is a more complex answer.  When you talk about 'getting away with it', you are talking about means, not real motives (or ends).  Your attempt to make it out to be simpler is an effort to impose judgment without further inquiry.  In other words, you're feeling the fight.  When you back off, you see that there is more to discover in the cause.

Syl wrote:What I find a despicable about this case, is the way he tried to turn it onto his partner, calling her psycho, nuts and mental, to cover his own behaviour. I know it's a well worn trick to blame the innocent party, but it shows he isnt an honourable human being.

Rebecca is well shot of him, she deserves better. She will get over this, I bet his career is finished now.

See?  You are still in the judgment part of the controversy.  To call it a "well worn trick" is to emphasize the means of it all ("trick").  It's a lot more interesting if you back off, and investigate the psychological motives behind the trick.

I just think when a person continually casually cheats on a long term partner, one he professes to love, and one he would happily stay with, (I say he, obviously women can be just as guilty) the main reason is boredom, looking for a cheap thrill, and all carried out in the hope that they wont get caught out.

The guilty party trying to put blame on the victim IS a well worn trick, we can delve for hidden meanings if you like, but the bottom line is some people like to have their cake and eat it too.....without getting caught.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:06 pm

Syl wrote:The guilty party trying to put blame on the victim IS a well worn trick, we can delve for hidden meanings if you like, but the bottom line is some people like to have their cake and eat it too.....without getting caught.

Of course, it's a well worn tactic.

Syl wrote:I just think when a person continually casually cheats on a long term partner, one he professes to love, and one he would happily stay with, (I say he, obviously women can be just as guilty) the main reason is boredom, looking for a cheap thrill, and all carried out in the hope that they wont get caught out.

I think the causes go deeper than that. The causes are many and varied. For example, Trump goes for many extra-marital affairs, because he is a narcissist, and that is perhaps secondary to deep-seated feelings of inadequacy.

The aforementioned abandonment fear, is likely due to lost persons, or emotional support, leading to casual relationships. I've had one such person in my lifetime, and it turns out she lost her mother to cancer when she was just six. She had received abandonment, and so she gave abandonment back.

It's a lot more complex than good guy/bad guy, or reward/punishment.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by eddie on Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:22 pm

If you cheat on someone it’s a lie. A lie cannot be based on anything good ergo, cheating is the destroyer of trust and love.

Simple.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:32 pm

eddie wrote:If you cheat on someone it’s a lie. A lie cannot be based on anything good ergo, cheating is the destroyer of trust and love.

Simple.

Yes, that's the result. I was speaking more in terms of causes.

Incidentally, cheating is more than a lie...it is also larceny, in that it steals reality.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by eddie on Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:08 pm

Original Quill wrote:
eddie wrote:If you cheat on someone it’s a lie. A lie cannot be based on anything good ergo, cheating is the destroyer of trust and love.

Simple.

Yes, that's the result.  I was speaking more in terms of causes.

Incidentally, cheating is more than a lie...it is also larceny, in that it steals reality.


It steals a lot more than that. I’ve never understood people who forgive a cheater.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:13 pm

eddie wrote:
Original Quill wrote:

Yes, that's the result.  I was speaking more in terms of causes.

Incidentally, cheating is more than a lie...it is also larceny, in that it steals reality.

It steals a lot more than that. I’ve never understood people who forgive a cheater.

Well, you can get more than everything. In any event, we agree that it is larceny.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:39 pm

eddie wrote:
Original Quill wrote:

Yes, that's the result.  I was speaking more in terms of causes.

Incidentally, cheating is more than a lie...it is also larceny, in that it steals reality.


It steals a lot more than that. I’ve never understood people who forgive a cheater.

In theory I agree, in practice it's never just black and white.

What I dont agree with is when something, like this strictly pair, is made public and everyone rushes in to tell the wronged parties to get rid. You have to be in that persons shoes. It seems Seans girlfriend has put up with a lot from him, and she has made the decision to chuck him out (good for her)….but the important thing is it's HER decision, no one elses.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:46 pm

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:The guilty party trying to put blame on the victim IS a well worn trick, we can delve for hidden meanings if you like, but the bottom line is some people like to have their cake and eat it too.....without getting caught.

Of course, it's a well worn tactic.

Syl wrote:I just think when a person continually casually cheats on a long term partner, one he professes to love, and one he would happily stay with, (I say he, obviously women can be just as guilty) the main reason is boredom, looking for a cheap thrill, and all carried out in the hope that they wont get caught out.

I think the causes go deeper than that.  The causes are many and varied.  For example, Trump goes for many extra-marital affairs, because he is a narcissist, and that is perhaps secondary to deep-seated feelings of inadequacy.

The aforementioned abandonment fear, is likely due to lost persons, or emotional support, leading to casual relationships.  I've had one such person in my lifetime, and it turns out she lost her mother to cancer when she was just six.  She had received abandonment, and so she gave abandonment back.

It's a lot more complex than good guy/bad guy, or reward/punishment.

Sad about the woman you knew who lost her mum so early in life.

Deep down I think we all hang on to feelings we felt when we were kids, we are all vulnerable at heart, but it's the way we deal with these feelings when we are adults that count.

It makes me laugh when some celeb or other who is a serial adulterer runs off to a sex addiction clinic when he is caught out......when obviously his problem is lack of will power...we can all be addicted to the good things in life if we dont control ourselves...no matter what or whom we blame for our bad behaviour..

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:12 pm

Syl wrote:It makes me laugh when some celeb or other who is a serial adulterer runs off to a sex addiction clinic when he is caught out......when obviously his problem is lack of will power...we can all be addicted to the good things in life if we dont control ourselves...no matter what or whom we blame for our bad behaviour..

I think the problem is worse than that.  The problem is not lack of will power.  It is that they are simply unable to care.  That part of their psyche has simply been excised.

Perhaps it's a defense mechanism.  They once cared, but it led to profound hurt.  So they don't dare venture to care again.  They become socially superficial, and by the time we encounter them we judge them as such.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by nicko on Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:00 am

My interpretation is, "a standing cock has no scruples" !
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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Fri Oct 12, 2018 11:55 am

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:It makes me laugh when some celeb or other who is a serial adulterer runs off to a sex addiction clinic when he is caught out......when obviously his problem is lack of will power...we can all be addicted to the good things in life if we dont control ourselves...no matter what or whom we blame for our bad behaviour..

I think the problem is worse than that.  The problem is not lack of will power.  It is that they are simply unable to care.  That part of their psyche has simply been excised.

Perhaps it's a defense mechanism.  They once cared, but it led to profound hurt.  So they don't dare venture to care again.  They become socially superficial, and by the time we encounter them we judge them as such.

Yes I get that, some people are unable to get past childhood trauma so they shut down their feelings....at the top end of the scale we have psychopaths, lower down that scale are the people you are talking about.
But......I still maintain that the majority of people who casually cheat on a loving partner do it for less deep seated reasons... they are looking for the cheap thrill, or they simply do it because the opportunity is there, and they hope they will get away with it.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by HoratioTarr on Fri Oct 12, 2018 1:54 pm

He's a dick. It's that simple.
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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:16 pm

HoratioTarr wrote:He's a dick.  It's that simple.

True, but dont forget the woman he was having a good time with (whilst his long term girlfriend was sat at home on her own on her birthday Evil or Very Mad ) is a married woman also.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Fri Oct 12, 2018 5:48 pm

HoratioTarr wrote:He's a dick.  It's that simple.

Rolling Eyes Do you think your withered, dried up cunt is in better shape? Evil or Very Mad You just don't like to see emotional issues as understandable. Save them for judgments and wars...typical knuckle-dragger.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Raggamuffin on Fri Oct 12, 2018 5:55 pm

Original Quill wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:He's a dick.  It's that simple.

Rolling Eyes   Do you think your withered, dried up cunt is in better shape?  Evil or Very Mad  You just don't like to see emotional issues as understandable.  Save them for judgments and wars...typical knuckle-dragger.

Don't be so disgusting. Mad

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by nicko on Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:14 pm

Not funny Quill !
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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Syl on Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:26 pm

Original Quill wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:He's a dick.  It's that simple.

Rolling Eyes   Do you think your withered, dried up cunt is in better shape?  Evil or Very Mad  You just don't like to see emotional issues as understandable.  Save them for judgments and wars...typical knuckle-dragger.

How come you can show so much understanding, looking for  excuses... valid reasons when some third rate celeb is caught cheating, but you are so harsh when a respected member of the forum gives an honest opinion Quill?
He is a dick, the way he treated his long term girlfriend when she rightly had suspicions proves that. Twisted Evil

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:00 pm

Syl wrote:
Original Quill wrote:

Rolling Eyes   Do you think your withered, dried up cunt is in better shape?  Evil or Very Mad  You just don't like to see emotional issues as understandable.  Save them for judgments and wars...typical knuckle-dragger.

How come you can show so much understanding, looking for  excuses... valid reasons when some third rate celeb is caught cheating, but you are so harsh when a respected member of the forum gives an honest opinion Quill?
He is a dick, the way he treated his long term girlfriend when she rightly had suspicions proves that. Twisted Evil

Michelle Obama once said, "When they go low, we go higher". Yesterday, Eric Holder, former attorney general, revised that for the snowflake Democrats: "When they go low, we knee cap 'em". Twisted Evil

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by eddie on Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:08 pm

Original Quill wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:He's a dick.  It's that simple.

Rolling Eyes   Do you think your withered, dried up cunt is in better shape?  Evil or Very Mad  You just don't like to see emotional issues as understandable.  Save them for judgments and wars...typical knuckle-dragger.

That, is really out of character for you.
And also uncalled for.

And also untrue.

I’ve seen photos of Horatio and I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by eddie on Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:08 pm

Just to be clear, I haven’t seen her cunt. But the rest of her looks great.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by >THE Ben Reilly< on Fri Oct 12, 2018 10:13 pm

Original Quill wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:He's a dick.  It's that simple.

Rolling Eyes   Do you think your withered, dried up cunt is in better shape?  Evil or Very Mad  You just don't like to see emotional issues as understandable.  Save them for judgments and wars...typical knuckle-dragger.

That was uncalled for! Rein that in, please.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by Original Quill on Sat Oct 13, 2018 3:21 am

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:
Original Quill wrote:

[HoratioTarr wrote: "He's a dick.  It's that simple."]

Rolling Eyes   Do you think your withered, dried up cunt is in better shape?  Evil or Very Mad  You just don't like to see emotional issues as understandable.  Save them for judgments and wars...typical knuckle-dragger.

That was uncalled for! Rein that in, please.

So was calling someone a "dick".  Reign that in...you're the chief mod.

I told y'all 3 - 4 years ago that you needed some due process around here, but it's still what you mods like and what you don't like...which changes on any given night.

You've lost 90% of your membership as a result...sassy and Irn, even smelly and the RW company.  All gone because of the duplicitous standards!  Now perhaps you'll listen to me and make me chief legal officer and appellate judge.  You could use some consistency of rules, instead of how y'all are feeling this evening or what.  The duplicity around here is abysmal.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

Post by WhoseYourWolfie on Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:27 am

Cool

Quite interesting to see how often Dodge, Andy, Quill and myself have been basemented for our various 'sins' over the years...

Not once, however, have I ever seen the likes of Horatio Troll or Nems, Deano or Smelly', warned off, let alone punished in any way for their usual sexist, neo-nazi or racist trash-talking..

Like Quill notes above, many much better contributors (i.e. Irn Bru, sassy, Korben Dallas, et al..) have deserted NF while that filth I named earlier has not just been allowed free rein, but can be seen often applauded for their hatemongering efforts.

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Re: The 'Strictly' curse strikes again.

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