Why do we (Americans), still shame adults who live with their parents?

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Why do we (Americans), still shame adults who live with their parents?

Post by eddie on Mon Jul 30, 2018 9:29 pm

Article from February 2018

Over the weekend, the internet was on fire again (shocker), this time over the Black Panther star, Michael B Jordan, and his housing situation. People just couldn’t believe a man of voting age would actually choose to live with his parents. Because somehow it makes more sense in America to rack up thousands of dollars in debt, move into a teenier-tinier Tiny House, or even continue living with a partner you kinda hate than to endure the shame of being a young adult crashing in your childhood bedroom.

In fact, this sleeping arrangement is so degrading, the media has even coined a patronizing name for the losers who do it: boomerangs. They’re the millennials who’ve failed to live up to the idea of success our Protestant work ethic-obsessed society has shoved down their throats. They’re the ones finally doubting our long-held convictions that material gain, self-reliance, and that all important guiding principle – freeeeeeedoooooom – are what determine our sense of worth and give us purpose.

Unlike most of the world, where family is number one and cooperation is valued over competition, Americans tend to think we don’t need family. Or anyone actually. I’m not saying family isn’t important to us. Of course it is. But it’s not quite as important as self-determination and the right to pursue individual happiness (like moving out at 18 and maybe even owning a gun), and we like to shame any millennial who dares to question our collective allegiance to this destructive bootstraps mentality that unbridled capitalism hinges on.

Michael B Jordan, thankfully, was able to refute any trolls trying to claim he might be one of these capital-L losers who mooches off his parents. The truth is, he’s actually a super generous guy who wanted to repay his parents’ love by purchasing a house big enough to host them. But even this explanation didn’t satisfy everyone. In America, we like to put parents in homes, not invite them to live in ours. Obviously #notallAmericans. But enough.

”I get it, though. I myself never questioned this lone wolf, bootstrap mentality until I started hanging out with Americans who weren’t white, middle class, or Protestant. And once I started dating foreign men and living outside of America, I was quite disturbed at how much I judged people who didn’t leave home at 18.”

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/feb/28/michael-b-jordan-live-with-parents-millennials-shame


I’ve known people in the UK who’ve frowned upon this too, so I don’t think it’s simply an American “problem”.
Having said that, I do think people should leave home when they can and build their own lives. Independence is a great thing.

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Re: Why do we (Americans), still shame adults who live with their parents?

Post by *THE Ben Reilly* on Mon Jul 30, 2018 10:51 pm

I remember when I was in my early 20s, I worked with a Mexican girl named Lilly. We were talking one day and it came up that I wasn't married and that I had my own apartment, and she thought that was the craziest thing she'd ever heard.

For a lot of Mexican people, it's simply unnatural to live on your own. So you stay with your family until you start your own. I'm sure there are exceptions, but it was an interesting alternative point of view to me.

Me, I've always loved my independence and knew I had to have it after living on my own for a week in New York City when I was 21. It was just a hotel, but I loved being self-sufficient.

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