My beautiful friend Lisa

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My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:43 am




Lisa died last night. I am so incredibly hurt and sad. I don't have the words right now so I'm just going to put something here that I wrote about her a few weeks ago:


My friend Lisa.

We met in school when we were both eleven. We ended up sitting next to each other in a classroom and some teacher was chatting some rubbish about something and one of us made a quiet joke and the other one laughed. She wrote me a note, (she swears I wrote the note because "You're the writer, I don't write notes!" - we have always disagreed on the note but I'm telling you it was her, she's always been braver than me), saying:

"Want to be best friends?"

And then, just like that, with no effort, we were.

We loved each other really quickly and we spent so much time laughing and daydreaming we didn't get a whole lot else done. We kinda blame each other for not getting good school reports and fucking up some mid-term exams, but as we kept reminding each other, we are in the TOP CLASS WITH NO EFFORT! How smart are we really?? Yeah.  We were smart. Imagine how smart we'd actually be if we concentrated.

We never did.

We ate ice lollies every lunch time - come rain or shine - because we loved the cherry-brandy-flavoured ice lollies. She became fascinated with watching me eat mine - I used to use the back of the long nail of my little finger to scrape the ice off the lolly and suck it off my finger.  She still tells everyone that it's the only time she ever watched someone eat an ice lolly and found it mesmerising...but then, she's  a little batty to be honest.

She would come to school, after having watched a film and spend the whole day, in snippets, telling me the whole story. I mean, she acted that shit out in front of my eyes, playing every part so that if I ever got to see the film, I was nearly always disappointed. She made her version better than the actual film and yet before she told it, I'd roll my eyes and sigh. She told it anyway and I quickly became sucked in.
I should've remembered back then, that no one tells a story quite like she does.

We gave each other anything we had, it quickly became a joke that neither of us would say we liked something for fear that the other one would offer it up. No one is as generous as Lisa, in gifts and time and spirit. She's truly got a golden heart of the very rare kind.

We got into trouble together and oh dear God, mostly it really wasn't our fault! We seemed to find ourselves in situations that were like a bad comedy sketch. We would turn to each other and say,  "How did that happen?"

It happened, because we were like a pair of little urchins who just played and forgot the time or where we were, or why we were supposed  to be in school.
We had no time for school because we had plans! Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney were  going to drive by our playground at any moment and ask us to come to the studio to record some songs. After all, we knew all the words to their two duets and never mind that hey were already hits - we didn't care - we were going to make it big time.

Mostly, I love to play with her hair, and swap socks. No idea why we do that but we do. It's a thing. Like eating cheese at 2am and saying that it's really time to go to bed but there's so much more to say!  And then lying in the dark and laughing at some stupid shit because we don't know how to stop.  
I love the passion we make when we debate an opposing viewpoint, getting louder and telling the other, "Oh you're talking bollocks!" and suddenly switching to ask if the other needs a top-up for their whisky, debate forgotten now because a really good song came on and we need to dance!! We love a whisky and we love to dance. And we love to sing and we love to be delighted that we still remember all the lyrics "after all these years!"

Mostly I love her energy and the strength she always seems to find for you when you can't find your own. She always has more than enough to spare.
I can't hide from her because she looks into me and she knows what I'm thinking and she knows when I don't have the words and she'll wait for me to find them...and when I do find them she bloody changes them and I get irritated:
"Stop changing my words! They're 'balloons' not 'bubbles'!" and she will "pfffff" me and say,

"Same thing. I know what you mean"

And she always does.

I love her with an innocence and a deep respect that I'll never describe even if I have all the words in the world at my fingertips.
I love her totally and I always will. She taught me how to laugh when I wanted to cry and made me face myself with her own unique brand of honesty.
She just knows me and she never judges me for whatever I do. She's a constant in my chaos and her sense of humour is my life raft. She understands when I don't cry and she knows when I can cry and sits quietly encouraging, while I do. I come away much clearer, stronger and calmer, just by being with her.

If she taught me anything it's that life is too short not to be lived totally and you really have to follow your heart; Hers is a huge one and she has room for so many.  I'm so glad I have a place there. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

Oh and she thinks she's always right and mostly she is, but I don't ever tell her that. Becasue she gets a bit big-headed.

I only hope I touch her life in the way she touches mine and I hope, if we do all end up as clouds one day, she and I will make a brilliant balloon/bubble shape together again.  

We will totally rock that fucking sky!











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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Guest on Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:45 am

Sorry to hear Eddie

My thoughts go out to you and her family.

Its horrible to loose those we must love.

Nothing though can take away the memories you have shared together.

Beautiful post and thank you for sharing.

x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Angry Andy on Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:57 am

So sorry for such sad news Eds. You will carry great memories for all time. Cherish those. .

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by WhoseYourWolfie on Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:15 am

Neutral

So, so sad to hear, eddie..

I lost a close friend (of some 38 years..) to cancer two years ago.

My deepest condolences to you and your friends..


Last edited by WhoseYourWolfie on Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:17 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by nicko on Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:17 am

I feel for you Eddie, the passing of a good friend leaves a heavy weight in your heart.
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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Raggamuffin on Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:13 am

I posted in the other thread, but I'll just say how sorry I am in this one too.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Fred Moletrousers on Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:14 am

That was a beautiful tribute to your friend, Eddie. Hold on to those wonderful and happy memories that she has left for you. God bless.
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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by magica on Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:16 am

Oh Eddie, such sad news.
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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Eilzel on Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:44 am

Once again, so sorry to hear this. Looks to have been an awesome friendship Smile take care xxx

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Syl on Sun Oct 29, 2017 12:11 pm

Lisa is at peace now, my deepest thoughts are with the many loved ones she left behind.
She will never truly die when she has friends like you to keep her memory alive.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Tommy Monk on Sun Oct 29, 2017 4:53 pm

Sad to hear this... it's obvious you loved her a lot.



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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Guest on Sun Oct 29, 2017 5:49 pm

Beautiful memories and a beautiful tribute eddie - you feel it more when you have grown up with someone .
Bless you and may Lisa now rest in peace xxx

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Lord Foul on Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:44 pm

Oh Eddie I'm so sorry to hear this, I saw your sad news this morning but couldnt reply because we were up at the wood, and I was short on battery for the tablet.

My condolences to you and all involved.

and Ben, good on ya !

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by HoratioTarr on Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:30 pm

So sorry to hear this, Eddie.  You were obviously huge soul partners at some level and will no doubt incarnate together again one day.   Don't let the void she's left depress  you too much....she'll be around you, still being that loving friend. x
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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by veya_victaous on Mon Oct 30, 2017 4:50 am

So Sad to hear.
I never know what to say
but reading about your friendship has literally bought tears to my eyes.

Related image

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Mon Oct 30, 2017 7:58 am

Thank you so very much everyone. I really appreciate all your thoughts, it does mean a lot to me.


On Saturday night, two hours before she died, Lisa managed to send a couple of message to me via her daughter. The last one was

"I'm having a whiskey and coke...cheers!"

Apparently she was sipping this before she became unconscious and she was listening to our favourite music....

So typical of her really.

Here's one of the songs she loved. We used to sing this at the top our voices and dance like maniacs:






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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by *THE Ben Reilly* on Mon Oct 30, 2017 4:51 pm


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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by gelico on Mon Oct 30, 2017 5:01 pm



I didn;t see this before. I think Lisa should be well chuffed with that tribute. What a beautiful expression of a lifelong friendship filled with love, loyalty and laughter. stay strong eddie and keep on rocking, I'm sure she would want you to xxxx

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Vintage on Mon Oct 30, 2017 5:12 pm

So sorry to hear about your friend. You have some beautiful memories so with your mutual experiences she will always be with you, until you meet again.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Guest on Mon Oct 30, 2017 8:15 pm

eddie wrote:Thank you so very much everyone. I really appreciate all your thoughts, it does mean a lot to me.


On Saturday night, two hours before she died, Lisa managed to send a couple of message to me via her daughter. The last one was

"I'm having a whiskey and coke...cheers!"

Apparently she was sipping this before she became unconscious and she was listening to our favourite music....

So typical of her really.

Here's one of the songs she loved. We used to sing this at the top our voices and dance like maniacs:






eddie Lisa seemed like a very brave lady that is just wonderful and brave what she did drinking whiskey and listening to her favourite song - good on her , sad she has gone far too soon . You were blessed to have her as a friend and that picture is beautiful of you both . I'm praying for you and for her family . Bless you xxxx

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Mon Oct 30, 2017 9:01 pm

Yes the one on the floor of us laughing (as you said in your pm) is one of my favourites. Her husband took that, on New Year's Eve this year.
We had just swapped socks - no idea why - and for some reason her kitchen lights became hilarious. Neither of us could remember why.

She made me laugh until I cried.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Guest on Mon Oct 30, 2017 9:37 pm

eddie wrote:Yes the one on the floor of us laughing (as you said in your pm) is one of my favourites. Her husband took that, on New Year's Eve this year.
We had just swapped socks - no idea why - and for some reason her kitchen lights became hilarious. Neither of us could remember why.

She made me laugh until I cried.

Love it when you don't know what you're laughing at - just seems funnier xx

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by *THE Ben Reilly* on Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:36 am


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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by SEXY MAMA on Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:22 am

Im so sorry for your loss eddie xxx

What a great tribute to your lovely friend Lisa.

Ben you are awesome.


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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Syl on Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:37 pm

eddie wrote:Yes the one on the floor of us laughing (as you said in your pm) is one of my favourites. Her husband took that, on New Year's Eve this year.
We had just swapped socks - no idea why - and for some reason her kitchen lights became hilarious. Neither of us could remember why.

She made me laugh until I cried.



That photo made me smile even though the tribute really touched me. Laughing
I have a long standing friend who I laugh with like this, till our stomachs hurt, usually over something ridiculous.
Its the best feeling in the world, and Eddie, those memories of times you shared like this dont fade, they just get even better everytime you replay them in your mind.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:35 pm

Yeah. At the moment they just hurt. A lot.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Jules on Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:31 pm

Sorry about this terrible tragedy, eddie. Was she sick for a long while or was it all very sudden?

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:59 pm

Jules wrote:Sorry about this terrible tragedy, eddie. Was she sick for a long while or was it all very sudden?

She had cancer, mesothelioma, incurable.
That's her with the blonde hair in my avatar. She got diagnosed 18 months ago.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Syl on Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:05 pm

eddie wrote:Yeah. At the moment they just hurt. A lot.

I know....the one I posted up of me and my mum laughing our heads off hurt me for a while after she died, all the photos did, but that passes, and I guarantee that those pics will bring you such joy again one day. I love you

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:55 pm

Thank you Syl, and everyone.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Jules on Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:53 pm

eddie wrote:
Jules wrote:Sorry about this terrible tragedy, eddie. Was she sick for a long while or was it all very sudden?

She had cancer, mesothelioma, incurable.
That's her with the blonde hair in my avatar. She got diagnosed 18 months ago.
Such a shame.
Our loved ones continue to live on in our hearts after they pass on.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by gelico on Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:26 am



I've lost so many lovely people to cancer. It really sucks


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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Thu Nov 02, 2017 5:18 pm

gelico wrote:

I've lost so many lovely people to cancer.  It really sucks


Yeah. It really does.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:03 pm

Lisa's family have set up a "justgiving" fundraising page. If you'd like to donate please PM me and I will supply the link:


Weʼre raising £2,000 to Raise awareness for Mesothelioma Cancer to get it recognised

Lisa was the most selfless person you could ever meet. She was diagnosed with Mesothelioma back in March. Despite all the trials/ struggles she faced during her illness she remained determined and positive right through till the end.

Lisa's positive energy for fighting cancer was admirable, it all started with no symptoms other than cough. Fluid was discovered on Lisa's right lung in March 2016 the doctors were unsure at that stage of what the fluid meant. Weeks later Lisa was told they had found a thickness on her lining of the lung. 'Mesothelioma'

An Oncologist, a Macmillan Nurse and a Thorasic Surgeon sat before Lisa and I. To say the atmosphere was overwhelming would be an understatement but Lisa soon changed that with her positive approach. "Dates? We don't want them"

So many questions, yet so little time to ask... Lisa's attitude was let's beat this and she sure did show us she was not letting it take her down easy. Word for word I can hear Lisa now in my ear "I'll beat that" and for that I admire her.

After months of knackering chemo, home remedies and super foods we managed to get almost on top of it. Positive results. We celebrated Lisa's Chemo finishing by having a Halloween Party back in October last year.

May this year was when the Cancer had started to become more aggressive, but this still did not deter her attitude. May up until now went faster than we could have imagined, each day was a challenge and Lisa's Cancer became harder to manage.

Sadly on Saturday 28th October Lisa passed away, peacefully and with all her family by her side. Her legacy will live on through her children and her memories/ stories will always be remembered.

As a family we would like to now raise money in honour of Lisa, all money raised will be sent directly to the Mesothelioma Awareness Charity.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Cass on Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:22 pm

I didn’t see this when you posted it. I’ve cried and laughed all over again.

Simply beautiful x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:26 pm

Cass wrote:I didn’t see this when you posted it. I’ve cried and laughed all over again.

Simply beautiful x

Thank you Cass x The response from people has been overwhelming. X

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Cass on Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:43 pm

eddie wrote:
Cass wrote:I didn’t see this when you posted it. I’ve cried and laughed all over again.

Simply beautiful x

Thank you Cass x The response from people has been overwhelming. X

In a very very strange way, we’ve become a non-stereotypical family over the years here in crazy forum land. For instance it’s this month I’ve “known” you for 10 years. Can you believe that?

Anyhoos babe, take one day at a time. Laugh, shout, cry, giggle and be mad. It’s all ok x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:23 pm

I'll be raising a glass to you on your birthday today, my beautiful girl, and playing some of our choons x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by gelico on Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:27 pm

eddie wrote:I'll be raising a glass to you on your birthday today, my beautiful girl, and playing some of our choons x



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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:39 pm

gelico wrote:
eddie wrote:I'll be raising a glass to you on your birthday today, my beautiful girl, and playing some of our choons x



Thank you Gels. X
I need to drink her share of whiskey as well as mine, she would've demanded that I do.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by gelico on Wed Dec 13, 2017 4:58 pm

eddie wrote:
gelico wrote:



Thank you Gels. X
I need to drink her share of whiskey as well as mine, she would've demanded that I do.



it would seem very churlish if you didn't

Cool

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Cass on Thu Dec 14, 2017 2:02 am

eddie wrote:
gelico wrote:



Thank you Gels. X
I need to drink her share of whiskey as well as mine, she would've demanded that I do.

Absolutely x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Guest on Thu Dec 14, 2017 2:12 am

eddie wrote:I'll be raising a glass to you on your birthday today, my beautiful girl, and playing some of our choons x


The best way to rememeber someone.

Remember how they lived, how they made us laugh, cry and just be ourselves.

Its the saddest reaility of life. That people start to act human and truly care when we come to lose someone we love most dear.

(not knocking eddie here or saying she is like that)

It really shows how much people mean to us, when they are close. Its one of the most beautiful things.

If we could capture that, in how we felt about everyone, there would be no wars or hate

That says to me, that we need to get to know more and more people

The more we do, the less hate there will be in the world

Hope you are okay Eddie, I am sure she is smilling and happy where she is, thinking of you

x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Sat Oct 27, 2018 1:42 pm

A year tomorrow since you died.
I miss you so much. I really need you to keep me sane sometimes. X



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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Jules on Sat Oct 27, 2018 2:41 pm

Sorry about the sad anniversary coming up tomorrow eddie. Remember that the last thing she'd want is for you to be sad. Thru the year there are lots of anniversaries of the deaths of people I loved too, so I know the feeling. Do whatever it takes to get you thru the day. xx

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Syl on Sat Oct 27, 2018 7:21 pm

The first anniversary is always sad and poignant, so my heart goes out to you Eddie. I love you
Your life has changed so much in the last year, and I know Lisa would be happy that you are happy....and God willing she knows.

I scrolled through the photos again in this thread,  Lisa may be gone but the happiness she obviously generated will never die. x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Guest on Sat Oct 27, 2018 7:44 pm

Eddie, do you know what Liza would be saying to you now?

Stop being dispondent, as you know very well, a part of Lisa, will always live within side of you. I may not believe in religion, but am open to the possibility of life after death and if true. One person would have been standing right next to you in spirit on the day of your wedding to Ben, One thing death can never cheat us from, is the very fact of those shared memories we have together with the people we most love in life.

Now I know the lose of those we most love and cherish is hard, but to me, we should celebrate their lives and not mourn them. Because to me, they are at the very core of how we have come to be who we are today. They have helped shape and form our lives, as much as we did for them. She would not want you sitting down being sad today, but being happy at the time you spent together and no death can ever take that from you.

I know its hard to think that way, when we misss someone so much and you have this twice as hard, when you cannot be there with Ben. Your heartache must feel unbearable at times, but the one thing I know and even more how you ended up finding the love of your life in Ben. Is that deep down, for all the massive walls you present. You are the biggest softie I know. With that you are a big romantic (even though you will never admit so) Where I mean that in the best possible way. I know you have your needs and to be honest, you sadly lost a great friend phsycially, but psychologically and spiritually, she will always be with you. Maybe I am wrong and guessing, but maybe Ben is similar in ways with his laid back care free attitude on life. Maybe in a way her spirit and whilst alive in advice. Help draw you towards her through Ben. Ben is such a great bloke and I know him being there would make this easier and I only wish that you could be together. Life is shitty at times, but you put to shame the vast majority of cpuples that live day in and day out. You are showing your love is enduring thousands of miles apart

Dont be sad Eddie, think how you always laughed and smiled together. She would not want you to be down. Her essecence is now and always be within you.

Stay gold

x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by Vintage on Sat Oct 27, 2018 10:31 pm

Even though the pain of loss and separation is great, nothing will ever hurt Lisa again, time will not take its toll of her,
she will be for ever as you love and remember her, your friendship was so strong she will live forever in your memory, with a smile. I think maybe one day we will be re united in some way, at least I hope so. Take care.

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by eddie on Sun Oct 28, 2018 12:18 am

You have all said such beautiful words and they all make perfect sense.

Thank you x

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Re: My beautiful friend Lisa

Post by *THE Ben Reilly* on Sun Oct 28, 2018 12:23 am

Really really nice post, Didge.

And since I told her I'd put it here as well:

"A toast to Lisa, who I never got to meet, but I wish I did.

Because my wife, who I love more than anyone in the world, loved her so much, she must have been one incredible woman.

To Lisa."

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