Selfish people.

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Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Thu Aug 24, 2017 8:43 am

Is selfishness on the rise or do we just become more intolerant of it as we get older?
I have  neighbours who are so unaware that their actions affect others (either that or they just don't care) I could write a long list of the  way their selfishness spoils other peoples quality of life.
On the few occasions I have pointed this out the wife acts like a victim....he stays silent.

We also drive down a road which must have one of the most selfish neighbours ever.

They have large wrought iron gates at the end of their driveway. They open out onto the public  footpath, when they take the car out they leave the gates wide open till they return, which means anyone who has to walk past has to walk into the road, including mums with prams, older people on sticks etc, its a busy road to walk into........the gates only get closed when the selfish arse returns and drives his car back onto his drive.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:20 am

I bet we all know someone who fits this description....maybe themselves?? What a Face

https://exploringyourmind.com/7-traits-of-selfish-people/


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Re: Selfish people.

Post by gelico on Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:32 am

Syl wrote:Is selfishness on the rise or do we just become more intolerant of it as we get older?
I have  neighbours who are so unaware that their actions affect others (either that or they just don't care) I could write a long list of the  way their selfishness spoils other peoples quality of life.
On the few occasions I have pointed this out the wife acts like a victim....he stays silent.

We also drive down a road which must have one of the most selfish neighbours ever.

They have large wrought iron gates at the end of their driveway. They open out onto the public  footpath, when they take the car out they leave the gates wide open till they return, which means anyone who has to walk past has to walk into the road, including mums with prams, older people on sticks etc, its a busy road to walk into........the gates only get closed when the selfish arse returns and drives his car back onto his drive.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by nicko on Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:35 am

I think that contravenes local bye-laws, get in touch with your local Council.
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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:47 am

nicko wrote:I think that contravenes local bye-laws,   get in touch with your local Council.

I have wondered that myself.
The thing is its not on my street or road, this happens on a road we drive down regularly, so really its not my business.
Surely its up to their neighbours to object, if indeed they do.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by HoratioTarr on Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:10 pm

Syl wrote:Is selfishness on the rise or do we just become more intolerant of it as we get older?
I have  neighbours who are so unaware that their actions affect others (either that or they just don't care) I could write a long list of the  way their selfishness spoils other peoples quality of life.
On the few occasions I have pointed this out the wife acts like a victim....he stays silent.

We also drive down a road which must have one of the most selfish neighbours ever.

They have large wrought iron gates at the end of their driveway. They open out onto the public  footpath, when they take the car out they leave the gates wide open till they return, which means anyone who has to walk past has to walk into the road, including mums with prams, older people on sticks etc, its a busy road to walk into........the gates only get closed when the selfish arse returns and drives his car back onto his drive.

I think you'll find it illegal for the gates to open and block the public thoroughfare.  If you complain to the council, they do something about it.   We had a neighbour who set up an illegal driveway.   He was forced to remove it.

Read up on the Highways Act of 1980 part 153
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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Guest on Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:48 pm

HoratioTarr wrote:
Syl wrote:Is selfishness on the rise or do we just become more intolerant of it as we get older?
I have  neighbours who are so unaware that their actions affect others (either that or they just don't care) I could write a long list of the  way their selfishness spoils other peoples quality of life.
On the few occasions I have pointed this out the wife acts like a victim....he stays silent.

We also drive down a road which must have one of the most selfish neighbours ever.

They have large wrought iron gates at the end of their driveway. They open out onto the public  footpath, when they take the car out they leave the gates wide open till they return, which means anyone who has to walk past has to walk into the road, including mums with prams, older people on sticks etc, its a busy road to walk into........the gates only get closed when the selfish arse returns and drives his car back onto his drive.

I think you'll find it illegal for the gates to open and block the public thoroughfare.  If you complain to the council, they do something about it.   We had a neighbour who set up an illegal driveway.   He was forced to remove it.

Read up on the Highways Act of 1980 part 153


I was about to say the same thing. Shops are prosecuted if they put stuff on the pavement and block, and I thought gates were supposed to open inwards because of that.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by gelico on Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:54 pm

Syl wrote:
They have large wrought iron gates at the end of their driveway. They open out onto the public  footpath, when they take the car out they leave the gates wide open till they return, which means anyone who has to walk past has to walk into the road, including mums with prams, older people on sticks etc, its a busy road to walk into........the gates only get closed when the selfish arse returns and drives his car back onto his drive.


we had that before, it was irritating. i tended to go along and close his gates back up then tie string round them so when he came back he had to fanny about getting scissors to cut the string off so he could get back in again. he mentioned it to me just in passing one time and i said ''oh, well i heard a rumour that some people are a bit pissed off about you just driving off and leaving your gates open,,,maybe if you just shut them when you go they wont get tied together''


it worked, not sure if he ever knew it was me tying them up

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by magica on Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:13 pm

gelico wrote:
Syl wrote:
They have large wrought iron gates at the end of their driveway. They open out onto the public  footpath, when they take the car out they leave the gates wide open till they return, which means anyone who has to walk past has to walk into the road, including mums with prams, older people on sticks etc, its a busy road to walk into........the gates only get closed when the selfish arse returns and drives his car back onto his drive.


we had that before, it was irritating.  i tended to go along and close his gates back up then tie string round them so when he came back he had to fanny about getting scissors to cut the string off so he could get back in again.  he mentioned it to me just in passing one time and i said ''oh, well i heard a rumour that some people are a bit pissed off about you just driving off and leaving your gates open,,,maybe if you just shut them when you go they wont get tied together''


it worked, not sure if he ever knew it was me tying them up



Haha, nice one Gel Laughing
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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:16 pm

If i was a near neighbour of his i would shut them when i walked past, but i dont feel its my place to do that.
I do wonder why no one has complained, or reported him, because the gates have been open blocking pedestrians for months.
The only reason i can think of why he hasn't been stopped is maybe he is disabled in some way and people make allowances.

If that isnt the case, he is just a selfish arrogant sod.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:16 am

On the selfish theme....don't lend money to friends, either give it as a gift or don't, but lending can often cause resentment.

I lent a friend some money once to buy something....she said she really needed it and didn't have the ready cash...(this was in the days before credit cards were the norm)
I told her I would need repaying at the end of the month...so that was the agreement.
Come the end of the month...nothing.
I didn't want to ask....I wanted her to give it to me, then I accept....no embarrassment on either side.

Anyway, to cut a long story short weeks went by, she bought herself a new jumper, went out drinking, never paid me back.

Then one day when we were out someone complimented her on the item that I had loaned her money to buy.
She said...."Thanks, Syl bought me that"......end of friendship.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by HoratioTarr on Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:41 am

Syl wrote:On the selfish theme....don't lend money to friends, either give it as a gift or don't, but lending can often cause resentment.

I lent a friend some money once to buy something....she said she really  needed it  and didn't have the ready cash...(this was in the days before credit cards were the norm)
I told her I would need repaying at the end of the month...so that was the agreement.
Come the end of the month...nothing.
I didn't want to ask....I wanted her to give it to me, then  I accept....no embarrassment on either side.

Anyway, to cut a long story short weeks went by, she bought herself a new jumper, went out drinking, never paid me back.

Then one day when we were out someone complimented her on the item that I had loaned her money to buy.
She said...."Thanks, Syl bought me that"......end of friendship.

How polite of you.
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Re: Selfish people.

Post by HoratioTarr on Mon Aug 28, 2017 5:41 am

Syl wrote:If i was a near neighbour of his i would shut them when i walked past, but i dont feel its my place to do that.
I do wonder why no one has complained, or reported him, because  the gates have been open blocking pedestrians for months.
The only reason i can think of why he hasn't been  stopped is maybe he is disabled in some way and people make allowances.

If that isnt the case, he is just a selfish arrogant sod.

It's no good doing petty little things. You need to get onto the council and get him sorted.
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Re: Selfish people.

Post by eddie on Mon Aug 28, 2017 7:30 am

Syl wrote:On the selfish theme....don't lend money to friends, either give it as a gift or don't, but lending can often cause resentment.

I lent a friend some money once to buy something....she said she really  needed it  and didn't have the ready cash...(this was in the days before credit cards were the norm)
I told her I would need repaying at the end of the month...so that was the agreement.
Come the end of the month...nothing.
I didn't want to ask....I wanted her to give it to me, then  I accept....no embarrassment on either side.

Anyway, to cut a long story short weeks went by, she bought herself a new jumper, went out drinking, never paid me back.

Then one day when we were out someone complimented her on the item that I had loaned her money to buy.
She said...."Thanks, Syl bought me that"......end of friendship.

I never borrow anything and I hate my friends paying for stuff too. I like to pay my way and also to treat people I like.

I think it's a bad idea to work with friends and family too.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Mon Aug 28, 2017 8:42 am

HoratioTarr wrote:
Syl wrote:If i was a near neighbour of his i would shut them when i walked past, but i dont feel its my place to do that.
I do wonder why no one has complained, or reported him, because  the gates have been open blocking pedestrians for months.
The only reason i can think of why he hasn't been  stopped is maybe he is disabled in some way and people make allowances.

If that isnt the case, he is just a selfish arrogant sod.

It's no good doing petty little things.  You need to get onto the council and get him sorted.

I don't live on that road...I pass it in the car.
I don't know any of the people who live there so I cant barge in interfering.

In any case, IF it was a neighbour of mine I would tell them face to face before I reported them.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Mon Aug 28, 2017 8:43 am

HoratioTarr wrote:
Syl wrote:On the selfish theme....don't lend money to friends, either give it as a gift or don't, but lending can often cause resentment.

I lent a friend some money once to buy something....she said she really  needed it  and didn't have the ready cash...(this was in the days before credit cards were the norm)
I told her I would need repaying at the end of the month...so that was the agreement.
Come the end of the month...nothing.
I didn't want to ask....I wanted her to give it to me, then  I accept....no embarrassment on either side.

Anyway, to cut a long story short weeks went by, she bought herself a new jumper, went out drinking, never paid me back.

Then one day when we were out someone complimented her on the item that I had loaned her money to buy.
She said...."Thanks, Syl bought me that"......end of friendship.

How polite of you.    

Well she lost a friend and I learned a lesson, so it wasn't a wasted experience. Cool

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Mon Aug 28, 2017 8:45 am

eddie wrote:
Syl wrote:On the selfish theme....don't lend money to friends, either give it as a gift or don't, but lending can often cause resentment.

I lent a friend some money once to buy something....she said she really  needed it  and didn't have the ready cash...(this was in the days before credit cards were the norm)
I told her I would need repaying at the end of the month...so that was the agreement.
Come the end of the month...nothing.
I didn't want to ask....I wanted her to give it to me, then  I accept....no embarrassment on either side.

Anyway, to cut a long story short weeks went by, she bought herself a new jumper, went out drinking, never paid me back.

Then one day when we were out someone complimented her on the item that I had loaned her money to buy.
She said...."Thanks, Syl bought me that"......end of friendship.

I never borrow anything and I hate my friends paying for stuff too. I like to pay my way and also to treat people I like.  

I think it's a bad idea to work with friends and family too.  

Same here Eddie....I hate to not pay my way.
I even used to give my OH his fare when he picked me up and snogged me for an hour before he dropped me home. Razz

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by eddie on Mon Aug 28, 2017 9:25 am

Syl wrote:
eddie wrote:
Syl wrote:On the selfish theme....don't lend money to friends, either give it as a gift or don't, but lending can often cause resentment.

I lent a friend some money once to buy something....she said she really  needed it  and didn't have the ready cash...(this was in the days before credit cards were the norm)
I told her I would need repaying at the end of the month...so that was the agreement.
Come the end of the month...nothing.
I didn't want to ask....I wanted her to give it to me, then  I accept....no embarrassment on either side.

Anyway, to cut a long story short weeks went by, she bought herself a new jumper, went out drinking, never paid me back.

Then one day when we were out someone complimented her on the item that I had loaned her money to buy.
She said...."Thanks, Syl bought me that"......end of friendship.

I never borrow anything and I hate my friends paying for stuff too. I like to pay my way and also to treat people I like.  

I think it's a bad idea to work with friends and family too.  

Same here Eddie....I hate to not pay my way.
I even used to give my OH his fare when he picked me up and snogged me for an hour before he dropped me home. Razz

Hahahahahahaha seriously? Ah you paid him for his kisses Razz

It's like the whole dating thing really, I don't know why women always expect to be treated when it's nice to do the treating too, imo

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by The Devil, You Know on Mon Aug 28, 2017 9:26 am

Syl wrote:Is selfishness on the rise or do we just become more intolerant of it as we get older?
I have  neighbours who are so unaware that their actions affect others (either that or they just don't care) I could write a long list of the  way their selfishness spoils other peoples quality of life.
On the few occasions I have pointed this out the wife acts like a victim....he stays silent.

We also drive down a road which must have one of the most selfish neighbours ever.

They have large wrought iron gates at the end of their driveway. They open out onto the public  footpath, when they take the car out they leave the gates wide open till they return, which means anyone who has to walk past has to walk into the road, including mums with prams, older people on sticks etc, its a busy road to walk into........the gates only get closed when the selfish arse returns and drives his car back onto his drive.
that would probably break some local bylaws about blocking pavements, call the council and report them

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Mon Aug 28, 2017 9:31 am

eddie wrote:
Syl wrote:

Same here Eddie....I hate to not pay my way.
I even used to give my OH his fare when he picked me up and snogged me for an hour before he dropped me home. Razz

Hahahahahahaha seriously? Ah you paid him for his kisses Razz

It's like the whole dating thing really, I don't know why women always expect to be treated when it's nice to do the treating too, imo

I've had my money back since: Razz

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Tue Sep 05, 2017 11:26 am

Just to add a post about UNSELFISH people.

Today I was having a snack in a café inside a shopping arcade.
Suddenly there was a loud crash, a poor lady had fallen, with her shopping trolly down the escalator.
I ran to help, as did at least 6 other people, one man stopped the escalator moving, and the others bent to see how badly she was hurt. She was hurt quite badly, with blood coming from her face.  I made sure an ambulance was on its way.
Luckily two qualified medics, young men who were sat in the same café as me, also ran to help, so I left them to it as they obviously knew what they were doing.

It was an upsetting sight....but very heartening to know so many people are willing to help when someone hurts themselves unexpectedly.

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by eddie on Tue Sep 05, 2017 11:46 am

I always wonder about the people who don't

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Re: Selfish people.

Post by Syl on Tue Sep 05, 2017 4:07 pm

In an incident like this, one would hope that there are enough people around for at least a minority to offer help. Today there was.....and it was heartening to see.

Sometimes i think people dont offer help because they hang back and hope someone else will.
Obviously some dont help because they dont give a toss.

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