Immutable Laws

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Post by Original Quill on Sun Jul 30, 2017 5:26 pm

Some of us are fond of referring to certain logical or inductive laws of the universe.  Well, someone went and put together a list of his/her own laws, based upon his/hers experience.  Perhaps you've discovered some of them, or you have some of your own:


 1.  Law of Mechanical Repair  
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.  Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.  Law of Probability  
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act (extended by cell phones to videos).

4.  Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.  Variation Law  
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.  Law of the Bath  
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.  Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.  Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9.  Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.  Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last.
They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.  The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold

12.  Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.  Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.  Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15.  Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.  Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet!  (Also found in List of Good Advice.)

17.  Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.  Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better.  But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Any more??

“Little thieves are hanged, but great thieves are praised.” — Old Russian proverb, offered by Vladimir Putin to Donald J. Trump, Helsinki, July, 2018.

"I don't stand by anything."  ― Donald Trump, interview with John Dickerson, 5.1.17...

If you can't indict, and you don't impeach, you've got villainy.

“That's libertarians for you — anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.” ― Kim Stanley Robinson, Green Mars
Original Quill
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Post by Syl on Sun Jul 30, 2017 5:51 pm

Lol....all true.

Law of popping out in scruffs.

Guaranteed to bump into at least one person you know/admire/fancy.

Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters.

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Post by nicko on Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:20 pm

No 17, spot on !

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Post by eddie on Mon Jul 31, 2017 1:10 am

The law of writing a long post on the internet

You'll lose it somehow, some way, every time and you will NEVER write it as good the second time.

(Keep it short and sweet people or do the C&P tango)

“Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons ”
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