‘Australia is dangerous — if you’re a dumbass’

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‘Australia is dangerous — if you’re a dumbass’

Post by veya_victaous on Mon Mar 27, 2017 4:33 am


LONG-TIME Aussie-based comedian Ronny Chieng has a message for those overseas thinking of visiting our fair shores: Australia is really, really dangerous.

If you’re an idiot.

In a hilarious segment on a recent episode of the US Daily Show, Chieng took a look at the much-publicised recent mishap by 18-year-old Lee De Paauw, a Queensland local who almost had his arm bitten off after jumping into a crocodile-infested river to impress a girl.

“What pisses me off is idiots like this are why people think Australia is dangerous,” Chieng ranted.


“Australia is perfectly safe ... as long as you stay out of the rivers because of the jellyfish, or the oceans because of the sharks, and the bush because of redback spiders and the outback because of ... basically, just stay in the Sydney Opera House, that’s where it’s safe.”

Taking aim at De Paauw, who said he had “no regrets” about the stunt, Chieng laid down the law.

“Australia is dangerous ... if you’re a dumbass. But everywhere is dangerous if you’re a dumbass. A car wash can be dangerous if you’re a dumbass: ‘How did he drown?’ ‘I don’t know, he was being a dumbass’.”

Of course, De Paauw did have a little Dutch — or rather, Aussie — courage before he made his ill-fated leap into a croc’s jaws. The teen estimated he’d knocked back “10 cups of goon” beforehand, which Chieng helpfully translated for an American audience:

“Goon is Australian for boxed wine, and 10 cups is Australian for ‘light refreshment’.”




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Re: ‘Australia is dangerous — if you’re a dumbass’

Post by WhoseYourWolfie on Mon Mar 27, 2017 4:44 am

sunny



geek

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Re: ‘Australia is dangerous — if you’re a dumbass’

Post by eddie on Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:02 pm

Well! What food for thought! It reminds me of that saying “For each slice of processed cheese there is another, just waiting for the pickle to arrive”

I think that’s both apt, and totally mind-warming.
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Re: ‘Australia is dangerous — if you’re a dumbass’

Post by >THE Ben Reilly< on Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:04 pm

eddie wrote:Well! What food for thought! It reminds me of that saying “For each slice of processed cheese there is another, just waiting for the pickle to arrive”

I think that’s both apt, and totally mind-warming.
Namaste. silent

Wow, I'd never heard of that saying until just now! Hearing it just now takes me back to just now, when I first heard it.

Good times.

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Re: ‘Australia is dangerous — if you’re a dumbass’

Post by Raggamuffin on Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:15 pm

Boring.

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