The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

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The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Syl on Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:31 pm

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/spurned-man-demands-4250-woman-9814873

"A woman was left stunned after a man she ditched after just one date sent his bank details and demanded that she refund him the cash he spent on drinks.
Even though the date went well and Lucy Brown, 38, thought the man was "normal and sweet", she texted him to let him know she wasn't interested in a second date.
The Londoner couldn't believe it when he replied to tell her he was "devastated" and he wanted a "contribution" for the drinks he bought her.
The man she met on Plenty of Fish told her to pay "her share" - £42.50 - and gave his bank account number and sort code at the bottom of the WhatsApp message."



Cheapskate or practical?

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by eddie on Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:46 pm

He means: I spent £85 on what I was hoping, would lead to a fuck, I'm not gonna get one so can I have my "investment" back.

What a knob.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Syl on Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:51 pm

Yep...in a nutshell.

Thor posted a video once of a stand up comedian, he was making some serious points about when women should put their hand in their purse when dating.
I don't doubt some women take men for a ride...expecting free meals and drinks courtesy of some mug who is willing to pay al the time, even when the man may have less cash than she does.

But a first date should be imo down to the man to pay....plenty of time for the woman to help out financially if more dates materialise.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by eddie on Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:57 pm

I don't agree. If I were going on a first date I'd pay my half - I just would - because until any feelings develop, you're simply friends and "equals" in that way.

I have often paid for meals when I've dated someone - I'm not a taker and even though I love the idea of being treated like the 'little lady', which I admit I do really like, some men aren't in a financial position to keep paying and it's also nice for them, to be treated.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Andy on Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:08 pm

He should have stuck to a £3 copy of Mayfair and some tissues.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Syl on Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:10 pm

eddie wrote:I don't agree. If I were going on a first date I'd pay my half - I just would - because until any feelings develop, you're simply friends and "equals" in that way.

I have often paid for meals when I've dated someone - I'm not a taker and even though I love the idea of being treated like the 'little lady', which I admit I do really like, some men aren't in a financial position to keep paying and it's also nice for them, to be treated.

I dated when it was expected that the man would pay, I do see times have changed.
Maybe now though, in that position I would pay half...or at least offer, I still expect most men would refuse though.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by eddie on Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:22 pm

Perhaps you're right Syl it's just I know of women who think it's their right to be treated and I think it's wrong.
First date then you go halves. If the guy insists because of male ego or pride or he's just a gentleman, then that's fine, but then I'd insist on paying for something either that date, or the next.

I always wonder at the idiots who think they have to spend enormous amounts of money on expensive dates anyway - special occasions perhaps - but there are so many ways to have fun without spending heaps of cash. I'd rather save for something really good and not bother with all the crap in between.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Original Quill on Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:25 pm

Syl wrote:Maybe now though, in that position I would pay half...or at least offer, I still expect most men would refuse though.

I wouldn't refuse.  There's always the stigma of superiority of the payer (of which the 'bedding' is a part).  You're paying a woman a courtesy of respect if you let her contribute.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Syl on Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:27 pm

Even a meal and a bottle of house wine in a local Italian can cost a lot though if you don't have much spare cash.
I probably would offer to pay halves if I was dating now.

I would hate to think a man was expecting I owed him anything in return for him paying.

This bloke /\ was obviously thinking along those lines.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Syl on Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:28 pm

Original Quill wrote:
Syl wrote:Maybe now though, in that position I would pay half...or at least offer, I still expect most men would refuse though.

I wouldn't refuse.  There's always the stigma of superiority of the payer (of which the 'bedding' is a part).  You're paying a woman a courtesy of respect if you let her contribute.

I never thought of it like that tbh.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Raggamuffin on Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:31 pm

The woman went running to the press about that? Not much to choose between them really.

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Re: The drawbacks of not accepting a second date.

Post by Syl on Wed Feb 15, 2017 7:24 pm

I am finding it hard to believe people go to the press with these non stories.
I know some of them make for a debate because they touch on modern society and the social dos and dont's, which are ever changing, but they are light hearted subjects in the main,  hardly earth shattering.

Maybe some 'journalists' trawl round facebook and Twitter, see something that catches their eye, then asks for permission to publicise it.

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