Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online?

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Post by eddie on Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:21 pm

Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online?

Online communication has become an integral part of most of our lives, and yet many people continue to view those they meet on the Internet with suspicion. They imagine that online forums are filled with sexual predators and people using false identities. This perception is fueled by sensationalistic cases like the Craigslist Killer and the false identities created by subjects on MTV’s Catfish.

Assessing the relative honesty of online vs. offline communication is complicated. Online interactions vary in terms of two major questions: (1) What venues are we using to communicate, and, (2) What are we lying about?

To address the first issue, there are many ways to meet people online—dating sites, chat rooms or forums, or social networking sites. These venues differ in terms of users' intentions and opportunity for deception. The second issue—what individuals are most likely to lie about—can be divided into several categories, including physical appearance, education, relationship or job status, and issues related to personality traits and interests.

When we might be especially honest

Surprisingly, people can sometimes be more authentic online than offline in the way they express their personality. In an earlier post, I discussed how people involved in online relationships can develop intense bonds due to the unique ability for the anonymity and control provided by online interactions to enable expression of the “true self”: traits that a person possesses, but does not normally feel comfortable expressing to others. Research has shown that when we chat online, even briefly, these normally hidden traits become more cognitively accessible to us and we actually do succeed in expressing them to others (Bargh et al., 2002).

When I have my own undergraduate students read about the “true self” research, many are shocked by the results, having believed that the Internet was rife with dishonesty. The idea that people could be, in some ways, more genuine online than off strikes them as counterintuitive. But the research suggests that when you’re chatting with someone online—in a Facebook private message or via the instant messaging function on a dating website—you and the other person may actually be especially authentic in how you present your personality.

How much do we lie and how severe are the lies?

In general, people are likely to be pretty honest online; most online deception does not involve the creation of false identities. It’s certainly true that it can be easier to lie online than offline, particularly about your physical appearance or job. So the lies we tell online have the potential to be far more all-encompassing than anything we could get away with in person. Despite that, most online lies, like most offline lies, are subtle, representing people’s attempts to portray themselves in the best possible light, with slight exaggerations (Zimbler & Feldman, 2011).

Much more https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/close-encounters/201407/can-you-really-trust-the-people-you-meet-online

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Post by Ben Reilly on Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:32 pm

Everything must be disbelieved. Every photo is a fake; every word is a lie. Everyone has a hidden, sinister agenda, and every single statement (including this one!) is false.

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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:42 pm

White lies?
Not an issue
Attention lies,?
Disconcerning and want to help.
Hateful lies?
Discrimination and prejudice.
Manipulative lies?
Some of the worst, that exploit the vunerable for their money with no care for the consequences of their actions.
Lies conceived from fear?
Can form again some of the most prejudiced views if they lack any substance based around that fear.


Is not really a case of trust, but understanding through research, rulling out all possibilities to confirm to a reasoned understanding.
Good intuition is always a bonus, but the point is some people do lie and they do lie for a multitude of motives.
I only need trust people in real life, not online, when they are just some distant person I communicate with, but I do come to trust, those who earn that trust by the fact they are constantly honest. In who they are, more so than who they are to others
You only need to look for the root cause motive to really see if someone is really lying. As you will sonn discover from this their intent.

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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:05 pm

Ben Reilly wrote:Everything must be disbelieved. Every photo is a fake; every word is a lie. Everyone has a hidden, sinister agenda, and every single statement (including this one!) is false.

Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online? 371740092   Geeze, rather twisted and yet 2 true as well.
I've found that as in the 'REAL WORLD' there are humans that: project a desire to be more Gandhi like then they really are - will 'fatten' up a resume to impress - will stretch their qualifications given any supervisory experience due to desperation for employment - will try to drag/put other's down in order to stand higher in someone else's opinion {peer group climbers unite} - walk around waving their pseudo credentials in any given topic as if it should matter to the social group when no one cares!
Interviewing potential applicants for jobs has always been an interesting experience and the follow up calls for those work references and personal reference's {non-relative} have been quite the eye-opener at times!
So, in conclusion; can people bloviate their importance: ethics/history/even their family/life style, on the internet as they would do in REAL WORLD - absolutely - humans with low or little quality of life and self assurance will do any and all of those things if it's what THEY THINK WILL MAKE THEM POPULAR!  Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online? 2088947957  
People with low self-esteem can't abide new people - don't want to see new people making friends - and carry around such a huge pack of jealousy that fabricating any thing and every thing that would upset their emotional balance is how they get through a day!
Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online? 14b9ecc428baceb72ff36277ec58a5bd


Last edited by 4EVER2 on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:06 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by HoratioTarr on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:05 pm

eddie wrote:Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online?

Online communication has become an integral part of most of our lives, and yet many people continue to view those they meet on the Internet with suspicion. They imagine that online forums are filled with sexual predators and people using false identities. This perception is fueled by sensationalistic cases like the Craigslist Killer and the false identities created by subjects on MTV’s Catfish.

Assessing the relative honesty of online vs. offline communication is complicated. Online interactions vary in terms of two major questions: (1) What venues are we using to communicate, and, (2) What are we lying about?

To address the first issue, there are many ways to meet people online—dating sites, chat rooms or forums, or social networking sites. These venues differ in terms of users' intentions and opportunity for deception. The second issue—what individuals are most likely to lie about—can be divided into several categories, including physical appearance, education, relationship or job status, and issues related to personality traits and interests.

When we might be especially honest

Surprisingly, people can sometimes be more authentic online than offline in the way they express their personality. In an earlier post, I discussed how people involved in online relationships can develop intense bonds due to the unique ability for the anonymity and control provided by online interactions to enable expression of the “true self”: traits that a person possesses, but does not normally feel comfortable expressing to others. Research has shown that when we chat online, even briefly, these normally hidden traits become more cognitively accessible to us and we actually do succeed in expressing them to others (Bargh et al., 2002).

When I have my own undergraduate students read about the “true self” research, many are shocked by the results, having believed that the Internet was rife with dishonesty. The idea that people could be, in some ways, more genuine online than off strikes them as counterintuitive. But the research suggests that when you’re chatting with someone online—in a Facebook private message or via the instant messaging function on a dating website—you and the other person may actually be especially authentic in how you present your personality.

How much do we lie and how severe are the lies?

In general, people are likely to be pretty honest online; most online deception does not involve the creation of false identities. It’s certainly true that it can be easier to lie online than offline, particularly about your physical appearance or job. So the lies we tell online have the potential to be far more all-encompassing than anything we could get away with in person. Despite that, most online lies, like most offline lies, are subtle, representing people’s attempts to portray themselves in the best possible light, with slight exaggerations (Zimbler & Feldman, 2011).

Much more https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/close-encounters/201407/can-you-really-trust-the-people-you-meet-online

Even if you tell the truth, you get accused of lying. So what's the point in lying.
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Post by eddie on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:06 pm

I believe everyone. It's been called a failing, but I never tend to think someone is lying to me.

I soon know when they are, though.

It also frustrates me when people call someone a liar simply because they changed their mind.

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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:11 pm

@4ever

You say people with low esteem dislike new people?
I find that very false, as they will be first to reach out to new people for security of mind and wanting more people to be their friends.
Confident people just be who they are, but also can with intuition see if something does not sit right. This may of course mislead them, but generally it does help them sniff out whether something does not seem right.

I have loads of time for people with low self esteem and insecurities, as they need our help and we should give them that help, as I often do for people.
I have given out my personal email to those where i wanted to help them, because I see they struggle.

So some of them do carry around a huge burden, because they have not come to learn to except themselves or like who they are. Many are suffering forms of depression and do not even know that they are. So your point probable kick some of them right where it hurts and set them back hugely from such a stance.

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Post by eddie on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:22 pm

Horatio, that doesn't bother me, nor should it bother you. The truth will always shine through eventually.

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Post by Raggamuffin on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:27 pm

I don't think that people with low self esteem like or dislike new people. I think they tend to keep to themselves, and they don't reach out to anyone.

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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:27 pm

A few other points on trust.

Its great when people are trustful and positive, but it can have side effects for doing so. Some people are too trusting to the own cost and can get so hurt in the process, it takes far longer to heal than it does for others and why it can be one of the worst things to do. To take advantage of someone so trusting. To use someone that positive has then allowed negativity to now take over their life. That is appalling and takes away another person for a time, that brings daily positivity to the world. Trusting people are as vunerable at times as those with low esteem, because they more than many will place themselves freely towards others without question. I can so respect that, but sadly it does leave them wide open.

Sometimes people break my trust and visa versa, so it has to be earned again, but the fact we allow the door open for this to happen. Proves and shows we are not going to allow such a disappointment to for the future spoil our lives. By keeping that door open to people, when we feel we have been let down or even when we have let ourselves down, is the key to any recovery and is the one time when belief actually matters. Having belief in ourselves and others. As having that belief is what allows for that door to remain open for wounds to heal and mend.

Its when that door is formly shut, that people have then surrendered themselves to a complete lack of trust and dispair. You see this happened to people who's relationships have been shattered by someone cheating and it can take years for that scar to even heal and for that person to gain trust of others again. Its easy for many of us on here to sit and judge others, but none of us really know each other deep down. As I imagine if we did, people would definately hessiate when even wound up, before replying. As that understanding of someone else helps to restrain and keep our emotions in check. The fact is we deep down, do care for others.


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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:32 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:I don't think that people with low self esteem like or dislike new people. I think they tend to keep to themselves, and they don't reach out to anyone.

Agree this is the case some of the time and others they will constantly reach out to people.
Its easier for people who suffer this way to reach out online, no face to face communication.
It takes away some of that fear Rags.
They will though within work and social groups be constantly some of the first when new people come though to speak to that new person, making them feel welcome, because they more than most understand what its like to feel like an outsider.

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Post by eddie on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:33 pm

I've definitely had my trusting nature taken advantage of.
Even though you pissed me off yesterday Razz (but I don't hold grudges) that was a pretty good post Didge so have a green.

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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:35 pm

eddie wrote:I've definitely had my trusting nature taken advantage of.
Even though you pissed me off yesterday Razz  (but I don't  hold grudges)  that was a pretty good post Didge so have a green.

We all piss each other off, me and you more than most.
Yet we get past it.
I think we clash more often than not is because we are strong characters
Today is always a new day and thank you

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Post by eddie on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:39 pm

I think that's the problem and the beauty of forums; everyone is a strong character and that's why we all clash!

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Please stop saying "You can't joke about anything anymore". You can. You can joke about whatever the fuck you like. And some people won't like it and they will tell you they don't like it. And then it's up to you whether you give a fuck or not. And so on. It's a good system. ~ Ricky Gervais
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Post by Raggamuffin on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:40 pm

I don't need to trust or distrust people online really. I don't generally trust or distrust people in real life either.

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Post by Fred Moletrousers on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:44 pm

Since, in another place, I am being serially represented as the head of communications for the British National Party (previously I was just only an ordinary rank-and-file Nazi) I would have to say, in answer to the question, not bloody likely!

Ps. All that work for the BNP and I've never had a pay cheque. Doh!
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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:47 pm

eddie wrote:I've definitely had my trusting nature taken advantage of.
Even though you pissed me off yesterday Razz  (but I don't  hold grudges)  that was a pretty good post Didge so have a green.

You mean it's a Jekyll day and it's OK to take him off of ignore Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online? 265384880 
I'm never sure and end up walking away: yesterday was horrid - scary and keeps getting repeated around here!  Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online? 2190311264

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Post by Guest on Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:52 pm

Fred Moletrousers wrote:Since, in another place, I am being serially represented as the head of communications for the British National Party (previously I was just only an ordinary rank-and-file Nazi) I would have to say, in answer to the question, not bloody likely!

Ps. All that work for the BNP and I've never had a pay cheque. Doh!

Just for you Me Lord and the lyrics are apt
Its just words that is thrown at you and you know what I think deep down he has a big admiration for you, but allows his beliefs to cloud his admiration and turn it into instead the worst poorest accusations.

Enjoy



Have a good evening one and all.

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Post by Fred Moletrousers on Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:03 pm

Didge wrote:
Fred Moletrousers wrote:Since, in another place, I am being serially represented as the head of communications for the British National Party (previously I was just only an ordinary rank-and-file Nazi) I would have to say, in answer to the question, not bloody likely!

Ps. All that work for the BNP and I've never had a pay cheque. Doh!

Just for you Me Lord and the lyrics are apt
Its just words that is thrown at you and you know what I think deep down he has a big admiration for you, but allows his beliefs to cloud his admiration and turn it into instead the worst poorest accusations.

Enjoy



Have a good evening one and all.

Hello, dear boy. I've revoked the peerage...and I'm just plain Fred (the chauffeur still has to doff his cap, though, because I voted Tory in the last election on account of the Labour candidate looking like Catweazle. The Tory candidate had nice legs, so it was no contest.)

I shouldn't have mentioned t'other place...very non-U of me. Apologies all round.

And the bloody BNP still haven't paid me!
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Post by eddie on Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:15 pm

Lord ed you're always welcome here and you'll always be Lord Ed to us Wink

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Post by Syl on Sun Jul 31, 2016 8:19 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:I don't need to trust or distrust people online really. I don't generally trust or distrust people in real life either.

I can see that on a forum it's not essential to trust or not, we probably wont ever meet anyone we are interacting with.
In real life trust for me is essential, if I cant trust someone they are not worth bohering with imo.

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Post by Jules on Mon Aug 01, 2016 10:48 pm

Syl wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:I don't need to trust or distrust people online really. I don't generally trust or distrust people in real life either.

I can see that on a forum it's not essential to trust or not, we probably wont ever meet anyone we are interacting with.
In real life trust for me is essential, if I cant trust someone they are not worth bohering with imo.

Correct. Trust is not an issue. Well, so long as no one asks me for my very personal details or asks me to help crowd-fund their latest pet project.

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Post by HoratioTarr on Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:22 pm

Syl wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:I don't need to trust or distrust people online really. I don't generally trust or distrust people in real life either.

I can see that on a forum it's not essential to trust or not, we probably wont ever meet anyone we are interacting with.
In real life trust for me is essential, if I cant trust someone they are not worth bohering with imo.

I think that people are generally trustworthy, and sometimes the ones you don't think would be are, and the ones you trust turn out to be shits.
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