To the Woman Behind Me in Line at the Grocery Store

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Post by Guest on Sat Jan 02, 2016 10:33 am

First topic message reminder :

Dear woman behind me in line at the grocery store,
You don't know me. You have no clue what my life has been like since October 1, 2013. You have no clue that my family has gone through the wringer. You have no clue that we have faced unbelievable hardship. You have no clue we have been humiliated, humbled, destitute.
You have no clue I have cried more days than not; that I fight against bitterness taking control of my heart. You have no clue that my husband's pride was shattered. You have no clue my kids have had the worries of an adult on their shoulders. You have no clue their innocence was snatched from them for no good reason. You know none of this.
What you do know is I tried to buy my kids some food and that the EBT machine was down so I couldn't buy that food. I didn't have any cash or my debit card with me. I only had my SNAP card. All you heard was me saying "No, don't hold it for me. My kids are hungry now and I have no other way of paying for this." You didn't judge me. You didn't snarl "Maybe you should have less kids." You didn't say "Well, get a job and learn to support yourself." You didn't look away in embarrassment or shame for me. You didn't make any assumptions at all.
What you did was you paid that $17.38 grocery bill for us. You gave my kids bananas, yogurt, apple juice, cheese sticks, and a peach ice tea for me; a rare treat and splurge. You let me hug you and promise through my tears that I WILL pay this forward. I WILL pay someone's grocery bill for them. That $17.38 may not have been a lot for you, but it was priceless to us. In the car my kids couldn't stop gushing about you; our "angel in disguise." They prayed for you. They prayed you would be blessed. You restored some of our lost faith. One simple and small action changed our lives. You probably have forgotten about us by now, but we haven't forgotten about you. You will forever be a part of us even though we don't even know your name.
You have no clue how grateful and embarrassed I am that we pay for all our food with SNAP. We eat well thanks to the government. I love that. I love that the government makes sure my kids are cared for. It is one less worry for us. I also struggle with pride and embarrassment. I defiantly tell people we are on SNAP. Daring them to judge us.
Only those closest to us know why we are on SNAP. They know my husband is a hard worker who was laid off after 17 years in a management position with his former company. They know we were moved from our home to a new state only to be left homeless since the house we had came with the job he lost. Only those closest to us know my husband works part time while looking tirelessly for more; that he has submitted more applications than he has received interviews for. Too many jobs are only offering part time work anymore. It is not easy for a 40-something year old to find a job that will support his family of five kids.
You know none of this but you didn't let that stop you from being compassionate and generous to someone you have never met.
To the woman behind me at the grocery store, you have no idea how much we appreciate you. You have no idea the impact you had on my kids. You have no idea how incredibly thankful I am for you. Your action may have been small, but to us it was monumental. Thank you.
Thank you for not judging us. Thank you for giving my kids a snack when they were quite hungry. Thank you. Just thank you.
Forever,
Andrea, the woman in front of you at the grocery store with the cart full of kids who are no longer hungry
To the Woman Behind Me in Line at the Grocery Store - Page 5 2014-04-03-20140319_114558
This post first appeared on Andrea's blog truestoriesofamidwestyankee.wordpress.com


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-gardner/to-the-woman-behind-me-in_b_5082769.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063




The more people in the world who are this kind, the better it will be.

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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:34 pm

Syl.. I am trying to understand what you say he needed all the extra money for?


Why won't you say?


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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:36 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:We are going round in circles.

The bottom line is YOU were trying to tell ME about my sons outgoings, incomings, what he would be entitled to and how much he should be spending.

I told YOU the facts as they were when he was unemployed.

I dont dispute your figures, I just stated that my son was entitled to live where he lived without any question of him downsizing.....whether or not one bed properties were cheaper in the area was never discussed.  

As for answering your last personal question, I told you to mind your own business.
I know you have had trouble taking in some of the other replies......but surely you do understand that.

Tommy is only discussing the minimum that people really need to live on. Perhaps we could continue to discuss a fictitious person instead of your son. Laughing

Laughing

I thought we were already discussing a fictional person...! ?

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Post by Syl on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:40 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:Look, all the Government sites say the same thing. A person on housing allowance is either entitled to rent a property with one bedroom only, or they're allowed to claim for more than one bedroom as long as the rent for the property does not exceed the cap for a single person. I put that second bit in because it's not very clear. However, what they can't claim for is the whole rent on a two-bedroom property which exceeds the cap for a single person.

It's all there in black and white. If someone gets housing allowance which exceeds the single person cap in a particular area, then they're clearly getting more than they're entitled to.

Rags, I am not disputing that.

I can only speak for what my son  received a couple of years ago....which was he received housing benefit for a 2 bedroom house  for the length of time he was unemployed.....twice.

If he was getting more than he was entitled to (and I'm sure the house he rented then would have been  more expensive than one bedroom apartments in the same area) he was unaware of that as the subject was never mentioned....neither was he ever asked to top up rent with his jsa.

It's Tommy who kept going on about what he would have been entitled to and why.....I am just stating what actually happened.
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Post by Syl on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:41 pm

Tommy Monk wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

Tommy is only discussing the minimum that people really need to live on. Perhaps we could continue to discuss a fictitious person instead of your son. Laughing

Laughing

I thought we were already discussing a fictional person...! ?

You are a fool.
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Post by Syl on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:42 pm

Tommy Monk wrote:Syl.. I am trying to understand what you say he needed all the extra money for?


Why won't you say?


A fool and a troll. Rolling Eyes
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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:44 pm

If his rent was cheap enough to fall within the max payable rate for a single person then it would have been covered!!!


Bloody hell! !! How many times do I have to try to explain this! ?



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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:47 pm

Well you can't start bleating about how jsa isn't enough without telling us what extra money would be needed and for what!?


Why won't you say! ?

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Post by Syl on Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:56 pm

Tommy Monk wrote:Well you can't start bleating about how jsa isn't enough without telling us what extra money would be needed and for what!?


Why won't you say! ?


If you thought I was talking of a fictitious person more fool you in keeping the 'pretence' up. Razz
Now sod off and mind your own business......I have given you enough of my time in this thread.
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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 8:02 pm

You can't start bleating about how jsa isn't enough without telling us what extra money would be needed and for what!?


Why won't you say! ?


I know exactly why... it's because there are no legitimate reasons for more money and you know it!!!

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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:11 pm

Just to add... I have recently switched to a company called extra energy as my dual fuel supplier of gas and electricity and they have given me an estimated bill for the year based on my estimated projected usage... any guesses how much for a one bed flat...?


For the year... £158 elec and £118 gas... total £276 for the year!!!


That works out at £5.30 a week all in!I!


Even if it really ends up working out double that then it is still only about a tenner a week!!!


£30 a week for gas and elec Syl. ..!!!???

What a load of old bollocks!!!


Have a look on a couple of energy switch Web site and see for yourself the possible estimated costs from different suppliers...



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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:36 pm

Funny, I live in a two bed small bungalow, and mine is £1,300.  And that is at the very best tariff I could get by checking all of them.   So I can only presume you live in a cupboard, only bath and wash your clothes in cold water and have nobody else living with you.

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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:46 pm

I speak the truth sassquatch. .. charges are...


Elec... 19.29p a day standing charge then 10.03p a day per unit
Gas... 11.94p a day and 2.94p a day unit cost...

Estimated use is 868kw elec and 2537kw gas...


Total 158 elec and 118 gas.


lol!





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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:47 pm

Funny, you expect other people to believe you Tommy.  For that you could only heat a cupboard, and that wouldn't be every day and would not heat water as well.

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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:51 pm

And I have a full tank of hot water every day to bath in!!!


Washing done in machine at either 40 or 95 degrees Celsius! !!



Don't have the heating on much... but I know how you women like to have it turned on high all the time... especially you older women...!


Laughing



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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:53 pm

Just worked out your electic.  On those charge ONLY USING 1 UNIT A DAY WOULD COST £107.02 for the year.  That's just 1 UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Using 1 UNIT GAS A DAY would be £54.28 a year


Last edited by sassy on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:54 pm

I prefer to wear a jumper indoors than have the heating on... means I have much more money to spend on other things...


Sometimes I even buy myself a new jumper!!!


lol!

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Post by Guest on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:56 pm

No way do you use 1 unit of each a day, you're a liar.

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Post by Tommy Monk on Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:59 pm

sassy wrote:Just worked out your electic.  On those charge ONLY USING 1 UNIT A DAY WOULD COST £107.02 for the year.  That's just 1 UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We have seen before how shit you are at maths... are you really going to embarrass yourself again over your stupidity in this area...! ?


Think you get your decimal point in the wrong place...


lol!

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:06 am

Tommy Monk wrote:
sassy wrote:Just worked out your electic.  On those charge ONLY USING 1 UNIT A DAY WOULD COST £107.02 for the year.  That's just 1 UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We have seen before how shit you are at maths... are you really going to embarrass yourself again over your stupidity in this area...! ?


Think you get your decimal point in the wrong place...


lol!

That's what it works out to for a year, using 1 unit a day, and it is correct.

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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:07 am

Sassy that is the estimated figures from new supplier and charges they will bill me... based on the estimated usage...

This is based on the fact that I'm out every day from 6.30 to 6 in the evening at work and out most of the weekend too!


I have minimal usage on either gas or elec.


But I did say that even if I end up using double the estimate then that still works out only a tenner a week!!!



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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:09 am

19.29p a day standing charge + 10.03p a day per unit  29.32p x 365 =
10,701.8p / 100 = £107.018

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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:09 am

I never said I use 1 unit a day you twat so I am not lying about anything!!!

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:10 am

Tommy Monk wrote:Sassy that is the estimated figures from new supplier and charges they will bill me... based on the estimated usage...

This is based on the fact that I'm out every day from 6.30 to 6 in the evening at work and out most of the weekend too!


I have minimal usage on either gas or elec.


But I did say that even if I end up using double the estimate then that still works out only a tenner a week!!!




You are on here too much for that to be true.

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:12 am

You said your electric was only £158 a year, and yet using just 1 unit a day brings you up to £107 a year, so you are lying.

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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:12 am

The figures I gave are from the supplier as an estimate  based on the fact that I am hardly in so won't be using much elec or gas.


As I said... even if I use double the estimate or even triple... that is still only 10-15 quid a week!!!

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:14 am

I think you might find that that figure is quarterly, not yearly.

And I don't believe you are never there, you are on here all the time.

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:43 am

Thought you might like to work out what a 'unit' of electric is

http://www.moneymatterstome.co.uk/interactive-workshops/KWh.htm

Just having an electric alarm clock going will use more than you say

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Post by nicko on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:49 am

Like to see the figures for I bath a day,

[Average size bath]?

Cost using Gas, cost using electric.
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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 10:10 am

The figures quoted are annual estimate based on size of property, number of people living here and personal behaviour regards to times in and out and how much cooking and heating you say you would be using utils for...


I said I'm in one bed flat, live on my own, out for 12 hrs a day and don't do much cooking, and heating rarely on.


Sassy I'm an electrical engineer... I know enough about elec usage and costs thank you!!!


lol!



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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 10:13 am

My fridge freezer is probably my biggest usage of elec... and that is about 250kw a year!!!



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Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Jan 07, 2016 10:45 am

I suppose half the problem is that if someone doesn't have a job they're going to be at home more, so they're going to use more heating in the winter at least.

Also, women do tend to feel the cold more than men - IMO. Laughing

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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:17 am

On jsa they should be out all day looking for work or using the library/jobcentre computers etc...


Plus what's wrong with an extra jumper and wooly hat indoors ?


Here for nicko. ...


My hot water is gas and it is about a third of the cost o electricity to heat hot water.


Maybe 10p or so per bath...

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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:34 am

Good way to do it now stormee if you could... always plenty of shit around to burn.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 07, 2016 3:28 pm

sassy wrote:Funny, I live in a two bed small bungalow, and mine is £1,300.  And that is at the very best tariff I could get by checking all of them.   So I can only presume you live in a cupboard, only bath and wash your clothes in cold water and have nobody else living with you.

I just checked what my bills were for the same quarter last year..
Electric = £105.96
Gas......= £186.39
total.....= £292.35.

We are on the best tariff at both companies. Thats for a quarter of the year, obviously summer months come in cheaper.
Maybe Tommy thought my son was fictitious because his heating bills are, unless he lives in a shed. Rolling Eyes
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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 3:58 pm

It's cheaper to have a dual fuel bill from same supplier and pay direct debit with all billing and letters online...


Syl. .. yours works out £22 a week...


And it doesn't matter how much elec and gas you'd like to use when on jsa...jsa only allows so much and you have to live within that!


My figures are an estimate for the year from new company based on what I told them about my usage but the tariff I quoted is what I will be paying per unit.

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Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:06 pm

Surely the point is that if you're on JSA you can't expect to be able to spend what you like on what you like - it's supposed to be enough to give you the basics. In the olden days people used to be very careful about their heating bills. They didn't sit there with heating on all day long, or hot water on tap all day long. Nowadays, it's considered a right to have these things all the time.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:25 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:Surely the point is that if you're on JSA you can't expect to be able to spend what you like on what you like - it's supposed to be enough to give you the basics. In the olden days people used to be very careful about their heating bills. They didn't sit there with heating on all day long, or hot water on tap all day long. Nowadays, it's considered a right to have these things all the time.

Keeping warm is a basic surely, and in the old days people made coal fires up every day and didn't need to pay out big heating bills....neither did they have hot water on tap, well we didn't anyway.
I dont think anyone has argued that anyone should be entitled to live a life of luxury if you are not earning....but who wants to see the 'old times' come back where people lived in dire poverty?
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Post by Tommy Monk on Thu Jan 07, 2016 4:29 pm

Yes Raggs. .. some expect to sit around in their pants all day with the heatung tufned up full blast and scratching their sweaty balls and expect benefits to pick up the tab!!!


Turn the bloody heating down or off and put an extra jumper on and a hat!!!



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Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:49 pm

Syl wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:Surely the point is that if you're on JSA you can't expect to be able to spend what you like on what you like - it's supposed to be enough to give you the basics. In the olden days people used to be very careful about their heating bills. They didn't sit there with heating on all day long, or hot water on tap all day long. Nowadays, it's considered a right to have these things all the time.

Keeping warm is a basic surely, and in the old days people made coal fires up every day and didn't need to pay out big heating bills....neither did they have hot water on tap, well we didn't anyway.
I dont think anyone has argued that anyone should be entitled to live a life of luxury if you are not earning....but who wants to see the 'old times' come back where people lived in dire poverty?

It was hardly "dire poverty" - it just meant that people did sometimes have to put on an extra jumper because they didn't have the whole house like a sauna. Central heating was once considered a luxury, and I still consider it that way really.

Coal does cost money you know, and I wouldn't think most people had a fire in each room.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:58 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:

Keeping warm is a basic surely, and in the old days people made coal fires up every day and didn't need to pay out big heating bills....neither did they have hot water on tap, well we didn't anyway.
I dont think anyone has argued that anyone should be entitled to live a life of luxury if you are not earning....but who wants to see the 'old times' come back where people lived in dire poverty?

It was hardly "dire poverty" - it just meant that people did sometimes have to put on an extra jumper because they didn't have the whole house like a sauna. Central heating was once considered a luxury, and I still consider it that way really.

Coal does cost money you know, and I wouldn't think most people had a fire in each room.

You mentioned the 'olden days'....people burnt coal and god knows what to keep warm, and it was cheap.
I know because we were brought up with coal fires, cold water to wash in, bath in cellar etc......it would be considered dire poverty nowadays because we have moved on from that way of life.

Nowadays most people do have central heating and I imagine only the very rich or stupid waste it.
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Post by eddie on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:05 pm

Syl wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:Surely the point is that if you're on JSA you can't expect to be able to spend what you like on what you like - it's supposed to be enough to give you the basics. In the olden days people used to be very careful about their heating bills. They didn't sit there with heating on all day long, or hot water on tap all day long. Nowadays, it's considered a right to have these things all the time.

Keeping warm is a basic surely, and in the old days people made coal fires up every day and didn't need to pay out big heating bills....neither did they have hot water on tap, well we didn't anyway.
I dont think anyone has argued that anyone should be entitled to live a life of luxury if you are not earning....but who wants to see the 'old times' come back where people lived in dire poverty?

To be honest, I don't come from a household where money is tight yet I still don't always put the heating on! If I'm chilly, I get my blanket out and wrap up on the sofa.

I actually hate hot stuffy rooms and no, not all women are cold! I'm actually quite a hot person !

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Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:06 pm

Syl wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

It was hardly "dire poverty" - it just meant that people did sometimes have to put on an extra jumper because they didn't have the whole house like a sauna. Central heating was once considered a luxury, and I still consider it that way really.

Coal does cost money you know, and I wouldn't think most people had a fire in each room.

You mentioned the 'olden days'....people burnt coal and god knows what to keep warm, and it was cheap.
I know because we were brought up with coal fires, cold water to wash in, bath in cellar etc......it would be considered dire poverty nowadays because we have moved on from that way of life.

Nowadays most people do have central heating and I imagine only the very rich or stupid waste it.

I didn't say it was cheap, and I didn't actually mention coal. I said that people used to try to keep the bills down by being sparing with heating and hot water. Now they think they should be able to keep the whole house warm at all times, which is fine if they're earning money.

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Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:08 pm

Anyway, we're talking about how much a person needs to be able to manage aren't we? It might be a bit miserable not having the heating on all the time, but it's not actually necessary, unless they have hypothermia.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:12 pm

Do you seriously think people on a low budget heat the whole house?
I don't know anyone who does.

For eg we heat one room upstairs and leave that door open so it heats the other bedrooms. The heating is on a timer...it's not belching out 24/7....most of the people I know use their central heating in a similar way.

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Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:14 pm

Syl wrote:Do you seriously think people on a low budget heat the whole house?
I don't know anyone who does.

For eg we heat one room upstairs and leave that door open so it heats the other bedrooms. The heating is on a timer...it's not belching out 24/7....most of the people I know use their central heating in a similar way.

So we need to be talking about the cost of heating one room really, not including a room upstairs as that's not necessary.

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Post by Guest on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:14 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:

Keeping warm is a basic surely, and in the old days people made coal fires up every day and didn't need to pay out big heating bills....neither did they have hot water on tap, well we didn't anyway.
I dont think anyone has argued that anyone should be entitled to live a life of luxury if you are not earning....but who wants to see the 'old times' come back where people lived in dire poverty?

It was hardly "dire poverty" - it just meant that people did sometimes have to put on an extra jumper because they didn't have the whole house like a sauna. Central heating was once considered a luxury, and I still consider it that way really.

Coal does cost money you know, and I wouldn't think most people had a fire in each room.
well yes coal costs money
Unless you worked in the mining industry then you ether got it free or at a very cheap rate and when you consider how many mine workers they used to be compared to now that was a lot of coal


we never paid for coal when i was a kid we got a tonne every month

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:18 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:Do you seriously think people on a low budget heat the whole house?
I don't know anyone who does.

For eg we heat one room upstairs and leave that door open so it heats the other bedrooms. The heating is on a timer...it's not belching out 24/7....most of the people I know use their central heating in a similar way.

So we need to be talking about the cost of heating one room really, not including a room upstairs as that's not necessary.

Depends on your life style whether you need an upstairs room heated or not.
I use a bedroom as a work room....the laptop is in here, as are projects I'm working on.
And what about people who are bedridden...not everyone is able to get downstairs.
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Post by Raggamuffin on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:20 pm

Syl wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

So we need to be talking about the cost of heating one room really, not including a room upstairs as that's not necessary.

Depends on your life style  whether you need an upstairs room heated or not.
I use a bedroom as a work room....the laptop is in here, as are projects I'm working on.
And what about people who are bedridden...not everyone is able to get downstairs.

We're talking about someone on JSA though - or I thought we were. I'm just interested in how much someone really needs to get by - hopefully temporarily.

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Post by Syl on Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:25 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:

Depends on your life style  whether you need an upstairs room heated or not.
I use a bedroom as a work room....the laptop is in here, as are projects I'm working on.
And what about people who are bedridden...not everyone is able to get downstairs.

We're talking about someone on JSA though - or I thought we were. I'm just interested in how much someone really needs to get by - hopefully temporarily.

I know...the topic has veered about a bit. Laughing

There are disagreements to how much a person needs to get by, one thing is for certain though, unless you know how to screw the system (and some people obviously do) it's hard.
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